A Mother’s Song

2011-04-06T21:16:00.000-07:00

My Joy

Day Eight

My Odette

For Christmas we got Pearl a Swan Lake DVD that features scenes from the ballet and a little lesson on how to do some of the steps, all geared towards little girls. She loves it and watches it regularly admiring the ballerinas grace and balance and exclaiming, "How amazing!" or "Isn't that beautiful!" throughout. She has been asking, maybe even begging to be in ballet for months now but they were really expensive, at bad times or just seem to be stuffy. Finally I found a ballet class for her that we can actually afford and that worked out time wise and today was her first class.
The minute she stepped into the dance hall, surrounded by mirrors and the tinkly piano tunes playing, her arms extended out, her toes pointed and there was a little hop to her steps. She was graceful, she was poised, and she was just bursting with delight. I had to stop myself from nudging the mom next to me and exclaiming,"Isn't she beautiful!"

2011-04-05T21:02:00.001-07:00

My Joy
Day Seven

Oops, skipped a day. I am realizing it's not always easy to have one picture that captures what brought joy to my day. For instance, it would've been silly to take my picture while talking to a dear friend on the phone but it was one of two phone conversations that were highlights of yesterday.
Today I enjoyed a morning teaching my children, an afternoon sitting in the backyard of a good friend talking and watching the kids play and this evening I enjoyed a 40 minute run followed by soaking in the jacuzzi with my family. All good things but no pictures to show. I can always fall back on a picture of my kids. They make me nuts but they ALWAYS bring joy to my day.

2011-04-03T22:07:00.000-07:00

My Joy
Day Six

Living so close to something so beautiful. Our county has plenty of trails, lakes and mountains to escape to. This place (Lake Hodges) is about 10 minutes from our house. It's beautiful and as soon as I am over this nasty cold the kids and I will be going for a little hike.

2011-04-02T23:13:00.001-07:00

My Joy
Day Five

Tea parties!

2011-04-01T21:10:00.000-07:00

My Joy
Day Four

This shouldn't be hard already! I've been battling illness, shuttling kids, trying to stay cool ( 90 degress today!) and just feeling a little grumpy. So, right now my joy is having two children peacefully sleeping in their bed, and a hardworking, good man home and headed to bed where I will soon join him. Thank God for new days and new mercies. Goodnight.

2011-03-31T10:00:00.000-07:00

My Joy
Day Three

Ever since Johnny discovered photobooth on our Mac, I never know what I am going to find when I open it up. I like this one.

2011-03-30T08:55:00.000-07:00

My Joy
Day Two

Puzzle master Pearl.
She just recently started enjoying puzzles and likes to do them all by herself. I love how her tongue sticks out as she concentrates on finding where each piece fits and how she dances around on the puzzle when she's completed it. Note the leotard she is wearing. She pretty much lives in them as she is obsessed with ballet but more on that in another post.

2011-03-29T08:40:00.000-07:00

O Lord and Master of my life, take from me the spirit of sloth, despair, lust of power, and idle talk.

But give rather the spirit of chastity, humility, patience, and love to Thy servant.

Yea, O Lord and King, grant me to see my own transgressions, and not to judge my brother, for blessed art Thou, unto ages of ages. Amen.
- Prayer of St. Ephrem

I was thinking the other day about this prayer and how easily I find myself with the spirit of despair over the smallest inconveniences. Then I realized that there are Orthodox Christians in Japan saying this very same prayer this Lent, people who are facing great difficulty and tragedy are asking God to take from them the spirit of despair. Lord have mercy.
I realize, in Christ, I have nothing to despair of, and to think of everything else I have how can I not be thankful?
So, I've given myself an assignment because it's the only way I am ever going to blog again. For the next few weeks I will be posting one picture of day of something that brings me joy. Perhaps, I will be inspired to write a little something or maybe it will just be a picture.

My Joy

Day One

The 11 years I've been married to this guy. We celebrated our anniversary a couple weeks ago with our annual family trip to Big Bear.

Oh! My Mama.

2010-09-13T15:13:00.000-07:00

I have lived far away from you for all of my adult life but please know how very present you are. Your melodies are sung in the way I love my children, the way I honor my husband and our relationship, the way I allow silliness and a lot of laughter in my home, in my flair for the dramatic (which doesn't come any where near yours), in my love of the musical Les Miserable, in my decision to have natural child births and nurse my babies for a very long time. I am thankful for how honest you have always been. When you messed up, you told us. I clearly remember you apologizing to me for cussing when I banged the door into your foot one day when I was probably only 5 years old. Because of memories like this I know as a mother I can mess up, I can say the wrong thing sometimes and have to apologize to my children but still be a damn good Mom. ( I think that's the word you used that day.) I just want you to know that not only am I thinking of you today but I am living you today, just in my own way.
I love you.

Watch out, Kindergarten!

2010-08-30T09:06:00.001-07:00

Yes, I cried. No, he didn't. Our city offers an amazing school called Classical Academy and I am so excited that Johnny gets to be a part of it. He will attend class at school every Monday and Wednesday. Tuesday and Thursday I will teach him at home using the same curriculum and web based programs they have provided. Friday's we will have some home lessons as well as elective classes at school. They offer things like cooking, fencing, swimming, languages, etc.. It's the perfect mix for me, I wasn't completely decided on homeschooling because I know my son and I know how much he LOVES being in a classroom setting with lots of kids and lots of stimulation. I am so glad that he can have both! It's been a little stressful getting my school area set up and feeling organized and capable. ( I don't yet) I know this will be so good for me and my relationship with him and I am excited over how much Pearl will be getting out of it too. She's been participating in his home lessons and loves it, so far. It was hard to leave him this morning knowing I won't be picking him up until 2:30, I know he'll do great, though. He loves to learn, he loves to play and meet new friends and he is one excited student.

Who you calling semi-precious?

2010-08-23T16:03:00.000-07:00

It sure isn't this Pearl. She is one of a kind and priceless! Her birth was fast and furious and she continues to live life that way. She is always ready to try something new whether it be food or friends. Pearl, you keep me on my toes and that is a good thing. I love how independent and spunky you are. ( but you will always get in trouble when you beat up your brother so, STOP IT!)

I love this sweet girl and this sweet girl loves cake!

ONE..

TWO..

THREE!

Can it be?

2010-08-20T16:05:00.000-07:00

Has it really been five years since I first met this sweet boy? He came into the world sucking his thumb (seriously, thumb was in his mouth while I was pushing him out) and he cried for just a second then just stared at my face and made the cutest little noises. It was one of the best moments in my life. Johnny, you continue to bring me the best moments in my life. I love you so, you big five year old, you!
ONE..

TWO..

THREE..

FOUR..

FIVE!

A Decade at Sea..

2010-03-18T15:30:00.000-07:00

Our landwind is the breath
Of sorrows kiss'd to death
And joys that were;
Our ballast is a rose;
Our way lies where God knows
And love knows where.
We are in love's hand to-day;
Where shall we go?
-taken from the poem, Love At Sea by Theophile' Gautier.

Excerpts from this poem were in the programs at our wedding which took place ten years ago today! Hard to believe, really. Although, it seems like Evan has always been there. I was such a kid when I met him, and I couldn't have picked a better person to grow up and grow old with. We truly have traveled on the winds of sorrow and seas of joy. We still don't know where we are headed or what is in store but we continue on by the grace of God and with much love. Ten years ago, I think I would've have been disappointed to see into our life now and discover that we do not own a house, have a dog, the job we dreamed Evan would have. We have learned to laugh, love, struggle together through those disappointments and the friendship and family that has made us is priceless. So, tonight we will eat sushi, drink beer, talk more than we should about our kids considering it's a date night, laugh over stupid stuff (like always), come home to our little rented town home, with no dog to take outside to pee , I will kiss my beautiful children (who will already be asleep because their wonderful grandma babysat), I will kiss my husband who will then probably have to get back to his freelance work that is providing much needed extra income, and I will thank God for it all.

He's no Mother Goose but...

2010-03-04T09:28:00.001-08:00

"Harry, Harry, quite not trary
How does your garden grow?
With stinky pigs
and hollow wigs
and boats not in a row."
Johnny recited this to me while cleaning his room this morning. I like the hollow wigs part. Crazy kid!

My Pony Boy

2009-11-06T21:46:00.001-08:00

Sigh. Where did the time go?

Fall!

2009-11-06T21:42:00.001-08:00

My favorite season, but it sure seems to be taking its time to really make its arrival here in San Diego. In between some unwelcomed (as far as I am concerned) warm days we've had some beautiful, cool windy weather. Perfect for soup, bread making, evening jogs, clothes I really like, darker shade of hair and pretty soon maybe even a fire in the fireplace. We just love our local pumpkin patch and what better way to take in the season!

Adventures in Baby Sitting

2009-06-09T15:27:00.000-07:00

For awhile now I've been a baby sitting my godson and his sister (whose parents also happen to be Johnny's godparents) a couple times a month. It is crazy fun to have my house bustling with 4 kids under 5!

What's more entertaining than the garbage truck?

Here's Grace and Pearl helping me knead dough. I just love their little messy hands.

Enjoying the fruits of their labor. or in this case, the pizza.

Johnny and Grace showing off their self portraits.

And at the end of the day when I am exhausted, I just turn up the music and let them dance!

...and we laughed.

2009-05-26T21:29:00.000-07:00

I went to post this photo on facebook when my thoughts turned to my forgotten blog. I really do miss blogging, facebook has made it easy for me to make connections with people and summarize some of my comings and goings BUT it doesn't document times in my life like my blog has. It really is like a scrap book for me, I will waste a good hour every now and then reading through old posts, getting teary eyed at the pictures of Johnny as baby and remembering really good and really bad things that I've shared. I am so thankful all of it's here and I am thankful for the people who I've shared it with. So, this little post and picture is just to announce that I am back. At least I will regularly post pictures and hopefully, every now and then, my thoughts, experiences, updates etc.. But not now, now I must go clean up around the house as my sweet godchildren will be spending the day with us tomorrow. Oooh, maybe it will give me something to blog about!

2009-03-17T13:21:00.000-07:00

I've been including this prayer in my morning prayers recently and thought it would be appropriate to share it today.

I bind unto myself today
The power of God to hold and lead,
His eye to watch, His might to stay,
His ear to hearken to my need.
The wisdom of my God to teach,
His hand to guide, His shield to ward;
The word of God to give me speech,
His heavenly host to be my guard.

Christ, be with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie, Christ when I sit, Christ when I arise,
Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me,
Salvation is of the Lord,
Salvation is of the Christ,
May your salvation, O Lord, be ever with us.
-St. Patrick

Who knew such beautiful words came from a man most just associate with green beer and good luck?!
We did have a little fun with the day, though. We wore green and went to one of our favorite parks for a picnic lunch.
Sadly, this is the only picture I have to prove it. :)

Silhouette

2009-02-06T15:59:00.000-08:00

...one of the sweetest, I'd say!

2009-01-01T21:59:00.000-08:00

Well, Nativity is officially over and I hope it was a blessed on for all of you.
Here is a family picture from Christmas day. Johnny is making his popeye face and Pearl looks worried but I am just glad when we all make it into the same picture. So, here you go.

New years eve was once again low key. We let the kids eat ice cream cones for dessert to mark the occasion. Pearl had never had her own before, she was one happy girl.

I am by nature an optimist so a new year always makes me excited for what roads may be traveled, what friends might be made, corners turned, mountains climbed you get the picture. I am hopeful that this year will bring Evan and I more direction and discernment in the decisions that lay ahead. I am really hoping for changes but also praying that I will be content if they don't come the way I think they should. Could I be anymore vague? Okay, what I mean is, I hope this will be the year Evan gets a better job, the year we get to buy a house, move somewhere we want to stay for a long time, settle down. I am learning to let out that big breath I've been holding that past few years thinking that any minute everything is going to be SO much better and to just be happy with what is in front of me. Just this morning Johnny was talking about how certain friends have toys he likes and he wants those toys, I told him if he only thinks about what he doesn't have he wont enjoy the things all around him, he seemed to actually get it. Yet, I find myself feeling that same way, "aw, they bought a house, why can't I have a house." or "oooh, I want a mini-van ,too!" I probably sound like a broken record, I know I've blogged about contentment and being thankful for what I have before. Sorry. I guess I am slow learner and haven't moved up and on yet.
January will be a busy and fun month. This weekend we are headed up Simi Valley for niece Elinor's first birthday. That was one quick year! Towards the end of the month I will be flying up to see my sister for nearly a week. I am so excited to just hang out with Raina and be in Nor Cal for awhile. We lived in Chico together for a few months before I got married and grew really close, so I like visiting her there.
Well, to anyone who still reads this thing, THANKS! I know it's not what it used to be, I am hoping to post more regularly and comment more often,too.

Healing

2008-12-16T16:42:00.000-08:00

I got home from visiting family a few hours ago. It was so good to give everyone a big hug, cry, laugh, watch the kids play and just enjoy family. It was especially good to see my cousin. I got to be there after he was moved from ICU and his little girls, ages two and one, came to visit. I snapped this photo him and his two year old. She was pretty overwhelmed with all the machines and tubes and bandages but she held his hand almost the whole time. She kept listing all the movies she would watch with him when he got home. The amazing thing is he came home last night! Less than a week after being shot five times, having a foot and a half of intestine removed as well as his gall bladder and part of his liver!! The whole drive up to see them it crossed my mind that I could have been making this drive to attend his funeral. The only shot that missed his body was aimed at his head, there is a bullet hole on the top of the drivers side door. He has no idea who the woman was, police have yet to find her or establish what her motive may have been. We don't know if she was just out of her mind or if it was some sort of gang initiation. All of this has left us wondering why. Why did this have to happen? For now, I will just thank God he is alive, he will be able to see his little girls grow, to meet his new baby in May, to hug his wife. If you think of him please continue to pray for him. His body is young and strong and has and will continue to heal quickly, it is the emotional wounds that can be so crippling.
Lord have mercy.

2008-12-09T08:23:00.000-08:00

Please pray for my cousin, Jesse. He got off work in downtown LA early this morning and was at a drive thru window when a woman approached him and shot him 4-6 times. Amazingly, he is alive but is in surgery. Please pray for his pregnant wife, two young daughters, mother and father and his entire family who love him and are worried sick about him right now.

Happy Thoughts..

2008-11-18T15:30:00.000-08:00

It's always so much easier for me to think about the injustice, frustrations and disappointments of life. So, I am going to a take a few moments and think about what is making me happy today.
Here's my happy list..
-I haven't yelled at Johnny today. ( I am working on that)
-The kids sat on the patio eating a snack and truly enjoyed each others company today.
-I know what is for dinner and have all the food I need to prepare it.
-Running. I have been running for a few months now. I am up to 3 miles and try to go 3-5 times a week. It really does make me happy and I've dropped two sizes!
-Evan. I love him, he's a good man.
-The hilarious jib jab video I made using the faces of my kids and my nieces and nephew.
-Tomorrows forecast calls for a cool down. Hurray!! Maybe it will actually feel like Fall.(oops, I think that was a complaint in disguise)
-When Pearl dances to Ancient Faith radio. That kid will dance to anything!
-My dishwasher.
-The library which is in walking distance and is loved by my children.
-Happy noises filling my house.

Glory to God for all things!

Sweet Pea

2008-11-07T07:21:00.001-08:00

She wore her sailor dress to church on Sunday. We left the pipe and hat at home.

Cute pictures from my least favorite Holiday

2008-11-07T06:44:00.000-08:00

I am always torn about how to approach Halloween in our house, especially since Evan and I both grew up only attending church alternatives to the "evil" day. For now we've decided to not spend a lot of money and not make a big deal about but just let Johnny dress up and have a little fun. We had a lot of fun. Our neighborhood is so friendly and has all these adorable old homes and I just love the excuse trick or treating provides to look into each one and see all the character and different styles of decor. Johnny just loved getting all that candy!
We made Johnny's costume this year. ( I say we because Evan did everything from sew the collar to hand paint the spinach can) Can you tell who he is?? All the adults knew but very few kids recognized him. Pearls costume was a hand me down I've had for years. She was supposed to be a ladybug but she wouldn't wear the hood and everyone thought she was a strawberry.

Grandma came trick or treating with us!

Johnny owned that costume, he WAS Popeye. Maybe I should say, he IS Popeye because he has been wearing the hat nearly everyday since and would have the pipe in his mouth at all times if I let him. (he is holding his spinach felt and donning the hat as I type)

Blah Blah Blah

2008-09-08T14:46:00.000-07:00

I wrote the following a couple months ago when I was trying to play catch up with this blog. I never meant to neglect it for so long. I decided to just go ahead and post this even though it seems so irrelevant now and I meant to include lots of pictures but I just want to get this posted and move on to the present. Hopefully, I can get back in the swing of things and make blogging part of my life again. I've missed it and my friends out there.

I have bloggers block, apparently. Summer has come and almost gone (although we still have a couple hot months left in Southern California) and I have hardly posted a thing. I could blame it on Johnny and Pearl not napping as well these days, or Evan being in school and have side projects which mean he is on the computer or I could just say it's been a very busy summer with lots of birthdays, family events and visits with friends. To say, I've just been busy would be a lie. I have just felt very blah. My passion, excitement for things is just not there. We have had some disappointments the past few months and I have been struggling, no, drowning in discontent. Avoiding my blog has not helped me because blogging usually allows me to reflect a little on my days and reminds me of all the blessed things in my life and how much I really have to say thank you for. Instead, though, my head has been stuck in this place where all I see is what I don't have and how unfair it is. It has been pretty consuming. Sick, huh? I say all this because I didn't want to just come back with a picture of my kid and or cute little antidote. I need this place to be a little more honest than that. I've been holding so much in and I have finally opened up and confessed these thoughts and feelings to God, to my priest, to Evan. So, I now I am going to let out a big SIGH to have gotten that off my back and tell you about the things I should have been reflecting on the past few months because there really have been fun, good things happening in our life.
-Pearl turned ONE!

Pearl is a light, she makes everyone around her smile. When we are out she will stare someone down and even holler at them just so she can look them in the eye and give them a big grin and a wave. It's really great to see Johnny enjoying her more, too. He thinks she's really funny and they will sit and just laugh at each other. Music to my ears.
- Our goddaughters came to town. (as well as their awesome parents)We had so much fun seeing the girls. We hate that they live so far but their visit was a big highlight of our summer.
-My family visited and we took a trip to Sea world. Oh, so fun. I have a pass now, so, if any of you have Sea World plans I'd love to meet up with you!
Other than that time was spent with our godson and family who happen to be Johnny's godparents. Lots of trips to the beach, various pools and parks.
It was fun but I am so ready for fall!

Johnny turns 3!

2008-07-30T19:38:00.000-07:00

My little man, is a little less little these days. He is a whopping three years old now and I really cannot believe it! Ever since seeing a Veggie tale with "the pirates who don't do anything", Johnny has loved all things pirate. So, of course, we had to have a pirate party. (i ignored him when two days before the celebration he said, "actually, mama, I think I want a superman party") My talented mother-in-law made all the kids pirate bandanas, eye patches and pirate loot bags and I made some really fun cupcakes. Throw in a piñata and a bunch of super cute kids and you've got one heck of a party.

John Henry, you make me smile EVERYDAY. Even on the days when you make me pull my hair out, you'll still manage to say or do something to make me laugh. Thank you, thank God, for the three years of joy your Papa and I have experienced from you, just being you. God grant you many, many years!

Out of the Mouthes of Babes..

2008-07-21T16:30:00.000-07:00

..Orthodox babes, that is.

Johnny and I were looking at pictures of him from about two years ago right before he turned one. When he saw this one he exclaimed, " I have a circle around my head. I'm a saint!"

I keep saying I need to write down the things he says, so I think I will start blogging them. I don't expect others to enjoy them as much as I do, I just need a place to record them.

2008-07-21T16:13:00.000-07:00

We are trying to help Johnny and Pearl develop a close sibling relationship.
When conflicts arise we encourage them try different ways to find resolution..

There's the talk it through approach. Pearl seems to do most of the talking.

Sometimes they just need to hug it out.

When all else fails we just let them fight it out. Winner takes all.

Kidding, of course. I just thought these pictures were funny. They are having a lot more fun together. Although, there are times when I think they would fight it out if I let them. Pearl is feisty enough, I think she could take him!

WaterBoy

2008-07-08T14:50:00.000-07:00

Yeehaw!

2008-06-13T15:17:00.000-07:00

I totally ripped this idea off someone else's blog, but it's just too funny!

Don't send a lame eCard.
Try JibJab Sendables!

Son & Daughter

2008-05-23T14:53:00.000-07:00

2008-04-28T16:32:00.000-07:00

2008-04-22T13:52:00.000-07:00

Johnny: (upon eyeing the easter egg decorating kit I left out) "What's that?
Mama: "Oh, we're going to DYE easter eggs for Pascha."
Johnny: "Are they going to DIE on the cross like Jesus?"

It has been really amazing and inspiring to walk through this Lent and these first days of Holy Week with my two year old. It's a beautiful thing to watch a child's faith grow and I am humbled by it.
To all my orthodox friends, have a blessed Holy Week.

Sweet N' Sour

2008-04-16T21:55:00.001-07:00

..that's her nickname these days.

Water Babies

2008-04-14T13:57:00.000-07:00

It's been downright hot the past few days here in SoCal. This is how we beat the heat.

When you combine potty training and Great Lent..

2008-03-27T15:22:00.000-07:00

Johnny, yelling to me from the bathroom the other day,
"Mama, I went poo poo on the potty and Jesus died on the cross!!!"

I include this picture because if you look closely you see his chonies peeking out. Yep, he's potty trained. Hurray!
Also, it's his first time bowling and pretty darn cute.

8 years

2008-03-18T13:44:00.000-07:00

This picture always makes me laugh. Why are we sitting so far apart? I suppose it's because we had only been dating a few months and Evan was meeting my parents for the first time. One of them took the picture. We were so young!
Eight years ago I married Evan. I was twenty and he was twenty-two. We had no idea what life had in store for us. We weren't orthodox yet, he had not finished college, I had never lived on my own and got my drivers license only weeks before our wedding. We were definitely young and maybe a little stupid but I think things turned out pretty well. Between a sassy toddler, a teething baby and loads of laundry I haven't had a chance to get terribly sentimental and gush over our love but I did dig up a these old pictures and they make me happy. I love this man and he loves me. May God grant us many more years!

Sweet x2

2008-03-04T16:03:00.000-08:00

I love these pictures of Pearl and her pal, Jonas. Jonas belongs to my dear friend, Shae. We got to be pregnant together for the second time with these cuties. Jonas is exactly a month older than Pearl and we love watching them interact. Pearl, who is very excitable, mostly just slaps and smiles at him, while Jonas, who is more quiet and sweet, stares back at her with a "what the heck" sort of expression. They are very cute!

Where we've been, what we've done....

2008-03-04T15:37:00.000-08:00

My parents, who live in England, were in California for couple weeks visiting their newest grand baby, Elinor. The wonderful thing was that it worked out for my whole family (brother and his wife and baby, sister, her husband and two kids) to meet up at Disneyland. We went to Disneyland the first day and the Disney California park the next. I hadn't been since right before Evan and I got married eight years ago. It was really different being back with my own children. We made the mistake of riding Pirates of the Caribbean first. Johnny was terrified. He's just never seen anything like it and it was all too overwhelming. It took him awhile to warm up to other rides after that but by midday he was having fun. I was just enjoying being with my siblings an their kids as well as some extended family that joined us on the first day. We were also able to celebrate my Dad's 60th birthday together. It's rare that I get to spend time with my whole family and it's made me miss them all more and wish we all lived closer.
I have a ticket that allows me one more visit to either park until the end of the month. Anyone want to meet me there? I know some of you have passes. Let me know!

a first..

2008-02-19T14:51:00.000-08:00

Pearl is getting a little too big for her tummy tub (sigh). We put her in the bath with Johnny last night. She was pretty excited about the whole thing and she was extremely slippery. I am enjoying seeing them play as much as they really can at this point. What I really love is that he genuinely enjoys her. As challenging as it can be to raise multiple children, it's really beautiful to watch them and realize that they will have each other forever. I pray for wisdom in guiding their relationship to be one of lasting friendship and support.

in motion

2008-02-16T22:37:00.001-08:00

evan put this together. fun!

Half

2008-02-13T14:52:00.000-08:00

Pearlie is six months today. She is my chubby, healthy and very happy girl. At her doctors appointment last week she weighed in at 18.5 lbs and is 28 inches long. (off the charts!) I am pretty amazed and blessed by what a content and sweet baby she is. She is, however, very attached to her family; adores her Papa and can't get enough of her crazy big brother. He is the only one who can always make her laugh. She gets the giggles with him and it entertains all of us. We've had some very warm days and it's been so nice to be outside at the park or the lake. What I really love is being able to put summer dresses on her and show off those chunky arms and legs!

2008-01-24T13:27:00.000-08:00

Watching Johnny nap today, it struck me that this kid is growing up fast! We have so much fun these days but I know he's not always going to want to be with his mama. He probably won't be calling me "mama' at all. Here are some things I would want the teenage Johnny to know about the two year old Johnny.

-You think I am VERY funny.
-You still have no idea what guns are. When I asked you about one at an arcade you said it was a telescope.
-You wear my nursing cover (hooter hider) as a superhero cape and fly around the house.
- You love music and will tell us what instrument is being played. ie.."that's a banjo!'..."that guys playing a trumpet!" You're usually right.
- You tell me you love me around 10 times a day, quite randomly. Sometimes you even proclaim it when we are out in public.
- You love your Papa. He lets you stall him and play for a good half hour when your supposed to be going to bed.
-You like to dance with me and you call me the princess and say that you are the lumberjack.
- You are very interested in Jesus and the Saints. You even named named your stuffed animals, St. Herman and St. John.(of Damascus) I think they are your two favorites right now.
- You LOVE watching music videos on youtube. This is your new favorite.

-You still let me get away with calling you whatever silly, sweet term of endearment I want.

I love you, bubbie!

Swinging on a Sunday Afternoon

2008-01-20T21:31:00.001-08:00

thanks to evans camera phone for capturing some or our sweet, slow day.

A Pearl

2008-01-15T10:40:00.001-08:00

with her round face and smooth white skin, i think she looks like a little pearl

2008-01-14T13:51:00.000-08:00

Obviously, blogging more was not one of my new years resolutions.
A belated happy new year to all of you, nonetheless. We had a really nice Christmas in town with family. Our new years was understandably low key. Evan and I did pop a bottle of champagne this year, so that was fun. Man, I love that stuff! The highlight of the past few weeks was the birth of my beautiful new niece. It is strange to think of my little brother as a dad but I know they are both wonderful, loving parents and I cannot wait to get my hands on little Elinor.
On the Sunday of Epiphany we undressed our house of all it's Christmas decor. As pretty as all the lights and wreaths were, I like having my pictures and paintings back on the walls! With the return to everyday life I have had a really hard time find moments to post anything. I do feel much more settled into being a mother of two, but I still feel like I barely get by just taking care of their needs let a lone everything else. I have been trying to get the house in order which has filled any spare time I have.
But now that I have some time, I thought I'd give a little update on the kids since it's been awhile.
Johnny is 2 1/2 and is busy, strong, defiant, funny, smart, sensitive and talkative. (all of those are understatements.) We get so much joy and entertainment with the things he says and thinks. Like how he thinks the guardian angel icon by his bed is GORDON the angel. Or how he tries to stall when we put him to bed. As Evan goes to leave the room the following conversation will take place;
Johnny-" Wait, Papa. I hab a question."
Papa- "What it is, Johnny?"
Johnny-"Do you wub me? "
Papa-" Yes, I love you. "
Johnny- "Let's talk about that, Papa. Does Mama wub me? Does Pearl wub me? Does Grandma wub me?..." you get the picture.
I have been realizing again and again that I really shouldn't leave Pearl alone in the room with him. One day I ran upstairs to put something away, leaving Pearl laying on a blanket on the floor and Johnny playing with his toys. I was upstairs no more than a minute when Johnny exclaims," I am jumping over Pearl!! Hurray I did it!!" Or just a couple days ago I left them sitting together and walked out of the room. I heard happy squeals from both of them and assumed everything was cool. I returned to find her sucking on his toe! Ugh!
Potty training and church behavior are the two challenges we face right now. I am not letting them get the best of me, though. After a few stressful and extremely NOT fun days of potty training I've decided to be more relaxed with him and brainstorm on ways to make it fun again and maybe even wait for more cues from him that he's interested. As for church, I just think it is unreasonable for me to expect a two year old to be quiet and stand for nearly two hours, so we bring what we can to engage him like a few books or pencil and paper, discipline when it's necessary but over all try to be understanding.
I can't believe how quickly the last two years have gone and that my baby is a kid.
Uh oh, babies waking up and Johnny's losing interest in his toys..I better speed this up..
My Pearl is getting so big and has completely left the fragile, sleeps through everything, snugly, new baby phase. She is a squealy, smiley, wiggly and chunky girl. We are all having so much fun with her. She adores her Papa and brother and kind of spazzes out when she's excited. She is very attached to me and enjoys taking in this big world from my arms. But as long as she's there she will smile and babble to just about anyone. She has been rolling for a few months now and is getting close to sitting up on her own. I love this phase, they can sit and play but can't go anywhere just yet. It's great!
Okay, Johnny is tearing the house apart and baby is now awake. Times up.

Chist is Born! Glorify Him!

2007-12-25T12:16:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas, friends!

In Anticipation

2007-12-13T16:22:00.000-08:00

Scenes from our home as we prepare for the glorious birth of Christ.

Where has the time gone?

2007-12-05T17:41:00.000-08:00

I can't believe November came and went and it's been well over a month since my last post. It's been a very full month for us. It all started off with a visit from my parents who live in England. They hadn't met Pearl yet and it was so fun to show her off when she is starting to develop such a cute personality and give lots of sweet smiles. She is very charming! Johnny also loved his time with his Nonnie and Poppie.After their visit and my trip up to Palmdale and Simi Valley to see even more family, before I knew it Thanksgiving was here. We spent the day with Evan's mom and siblings. Saving the best for last, we ended our already great month with the beautiful baptism of our daughter. She did so well, and it was a wonderful day for us and we are thankful for all the family and friends who shared it with us! I know this is kind of brief, I am just too tired to get into all the details right now. Since having my second child I don't have the time during to the day to blog and at night when they are both asleep I just want to be with Evan and enjoy the peace that only a mother whose children are both sweetly sleeping knows.
A friend of ours from church made this slide show with the photos he took from the baptism, I thought I'd let you all get a glimpse into the beautiful service and you get to see how much Pearl has grown!.

Happy Me!

2007-11-01T13:56:00.000-07:00

Here we go, six things making me happy..
-two mornings in a row of my two year old going poo in the potty. (didn't realize just how happy this would make me)
-homemade rolls and yummy soup eaten on a cool fall night. (last nights dinner)
-a clean kitchen (okay, technically it's only almost clean. I still need to mop)
-the funny things my son says. like, " i not pretty, i a lumberjack!"
-when evan does really funny voices while reading books to the kids. (he has us all cracking up)
-the monkey and the frog.

2007-10-28T22:59:00.000-07:00

This was kind of fun..

Smoke and Ashes

2007-10-26T13:19:00.001-07:00

... everywhere, but we are home. Sadly, many are not, including atleast one family from our church. All the different stories of how this fire has changed people's lives are being told. Some are really heartbreaking and others quite beautiful. For me, I am just made me more grateful for my family and friends and a little less concerned with my stuff. That's always a good thing. All those who have lost are in my prayers and on my heart. Thanks for all the concern and the prayers said. We ended up stayeing with Evan's mom who took such good care of us and Johnny loved his long slumber party with Grandma. It was a very relaxing evacuation, except for the hour where the fire almost evacuated us from our evacuation spot. Needless to say, we were happy to come home yesterday morning. The internet connection was down, so I couldn't blog any sooner. Our church is just fine, however, Pearls baptism will be postponed. The Bishop is sending a Chancellor of our Diocese to visit our community this weekend. which I think is just wonderful!
So, life goes on for the Keelings..I've been cleaning and trying to keep Johnny entertained since the air is too gross for outside play. Although, today his Grandpa came and drove him to the beach where the air was clean and the weather cool. I guess it's about time I put some recent pictures of Pearl up. She has changed from the newborn to a chunky, smiley, happy baby. By the way, I feel have to admit thatI don't think I am doing a very good job with this whole transition to two kids. The house is often a mess, meals are not terribly thought out, I am just happy when I make anything, and I am a wreck to behold. In case I've ever made myself sound like I have it all under control or something please know that I don't. It's been hard. But, I do have two amazing kiddos, and a loving, hardworking husband that don't seem to mind too much. Atleast for now. I know I have to cut myself some slack, but somedays I just feel very overwhelmed by the smallest chore. Okay, I feel better having blurted that out.
Here are some recent pics..

our cities on fire

2007-10-22T12:55:00.000-07:00

As many of you are aware,these Santa Ana winds have created horrible fire conditions in San Diego County, as well as other parts of Southern California. We evacuated our home around 7 am this morning, the fire was just beginning to enter the outskirts of Escondido and that was close enough for us. We headed south and are safe in Point Loma with family. We are most concerned for our church family and friends living in Rancho Bernardo where the fire is destroying neighborhoods. Our church itself is in the path of the fire. Pearl was going to be baptized next Sunday, I just pray that St. John's will still be standing. I ask for your prayers for those who are in harms way or who have already lost their homes and for all the lives being affected by this.

2007-10-12T17:07:00.000-07:00

Have a great weekend, everyone! I'll try to be back with a real post next week.

Pearl at Five Weeks..

2007-09-21T14:22:00.000-07:00

...Is giving very sweet smiles when we work really hard for them.

...Is growing some cute, squishy cheeks that seem to get bigger by the day.

...Loves her big brother.

I admire all of you bloggers who write with wit and intelligence. Detailing your days, your thoughts and opinions. For now, I am just posting pics of the kids. It's about all I can manage these days. I know this will pass, I am hoping that the books I plan to to begin reading this weekend will inspire some good posts. We shall see. Oh! In exciting news, I am being churched this Saturday evening. I am really looking forward to getting back to Liturgy and introducing her to our church family. Happy weekend to all!

Our baby girl..

2007-09-11T15:32:00.000-07:00

Whew. What a few weeks it's been! I finally feel close to normal and we adjusting to our family of four pretty well. Johnny loves his little sister who he usually calls her "Pearly" or "Pearl Alittlebit". I guess Elizabeth does sound an awful lot like a little bit. I call her that now,as well. It's just too cute. Pearl was 4 weeks old yesterday and she is such a sweetheart. I am surprised by how attached she already is to me and she is oh, so snuggly which I just love! She is eating and sleeping great and I am once again so thankful that nursing has been going so well. I try not to take that for granted anymore. I've been wanting to post my birth story for some time. I actually began writing it days after she was born while it was all still fresh in my mind.I am still in shock at how easily she came into our lives. I went into labor at four in the morning on Monday. Honestly, when I felt that first contraction I wanted to cry. It came after a difficult few days of Johnny being sick and sleeping with us everynight, as well as me starting to feel under the weather. When I knew that it was indeed labor and wasn't going away I stood in front of our icons and prayed for mercy and strength to get me through because I was already so tired. I called Evan's mom around 4:30 am to let her know so that she could come be with Johnny, then I called my midwife to let her know I was in labor. I never questioned whether or not we should go in, I just knew things were progressing rather quickly. Around 5 am, when contractions were strong enough that I needed to focus, Johnny woke up and came downstairs and snuggled on my lap. Not the most comfortable thing, but I clearly remember thinking, "enjoy this moment..". A little after six Evan and I were on the road making the 45 minute drive to Hillcrest where the birth center is located. We didn't hit any traffic and we actually got there before the midwife. I had to sit on a cold cement bench through about six more contraction before she arrived and I was so glad to see her. I've found with both of my births that I am most comfortable and progress well in a rocking chair through my difficult contractions, so I began to rock. Evan rubbed my feet, held my hand and was just there right where I needed him to be. My midwife checked me at 7 am and I was at 4 cm. She checked me at 8 am and I was at 5cm. One hour later, I was ready to push. My prayers for mercy and strength were truly answered and two hours after I arrived at the birth center and only a few good pushes Pearl was born. I had planned to deliver in the water but when midwife checked me when I was at 6cm, my water broke and immediately her head descended and I was ready to push. She came out screaming and she wasn't the only one! Pushing a baby out that quickly is incredibly intense. Fortunately, I had minimal tearing and felt really good almost immediately after. She weighed 7 lbs. 11oz and was just under 22inches long. At her one week appointment her weight was up to 8lbs 4oz and at her two week she was 8 lbs. 12 oz. I am sure she is well over 9 lbs. by now. I just love seeing those little rolls pop up here and there. Despite the difficulties of this past couple weeks and all the attention Johnny has needed, I still feel very bonded with my baby girl. It is also seemed to make Evan and Johnny a lot closer and I think Johnny has come to find more comfort from his Papa.
Anyways, there are some of the details for those who are interested. Now here are some recent pictures of Pearly. We were so happy when her cord dried and we could start using the tummy tub again. She really seems to enjoy it and it mellows her out in the evenings which seem to be her fussy time. Ain't she sweet!

2007-09-06T23:07:00.000-07:00

Look Who's Feeling Good!

2007-09-02T23:03:00.000-07:00

Good enough to play in the sandbox his Grandpa made for him.

Good enough to enjoy his new little sister and let Mama take pictures of it.

Thank you all for your prayers and concern. It is so good to have our happy, sweet, active boy back. The lack of sleep from the past week was catching up with me. I realized this when I found this note on my car windshield after a quick trip to the mall with the kids...

I came home and put Johnny down for his nap and then I fell asleep nursing Pearl. I awoke to find Evan home for lunch who informed me that I had left my keys in the front door. Yikes.
But, like I said, we are ALL recovered now. We've even gotten to enjoy some of the tantrums I spoke of in a previous post. Johnny is pretty emotional but overall doing great with the baby. Pearl is as sweet as can be and has been very easy on us so far. I'll have more to say about her later, it's bedtime.

Peace

2007-08-25T13:32:00.000-07:00

-Thank you all for your kind words and for the prayer said for Johnny and us. This week has not been good and I have not always been the most patient, in control mom through all the crying, sleepless nights and thrown up medicine in my face. He looks really bad but I do think he is improving. His spirits have been up lately and we see glimpses of the happy, active, fun and loving boy he is. Oh, I pray the worst of it is over, I miss my Johnny! Pearl is just sleeping and nursing through it all and I am thanking God for that. I am more at peace with all that's been happening, I know that Christ loves him far more than I and I have to rest in that truth.

Please pray for my boy..

2007-08-22T13:43:00.000-07:00

I've been working on getting my birth story up here but this week has proved to be a difficult one. Johnny had been recovering slowly from some nasty infections and was taking antibiotics which helped. I have always avoided antibiotics in the past but with a double ear infection and sinus infection we decided it was best. He had one more dose and was going to be done with them but yesterday he woke up with horrible welts all over his body, his hands and feet are swollen and his whole body red and hot. We now know that, like me, he is allergic to penicilin which is in the amoxicillin he was taking. It's heart breaking to see him looking so bad and SO uncomfortable, especially when I have a sweet little newborn who requires much of my attention. Having a new baby can be stressful enough, this has me feeling pretty overwhelmed. Honestly, just looking at him brings tears. Thankfully, I have family, friends helping out and a very loving (and exhausted) husband who is up with Johnny at night and still going to work the next day. I appreciate your prayers for his recovery and that we can just get back to dealing with the normal hardships of having a newborn and toddler. I'd take a tantrum over this any day!

Newborn Pearl

2007-08-19T10:35:00.000-07:00

Pearl Elizabeth

2007-08-14T14:07:00.000-07:00

She is here and she is lovely! I will keep this short, but my sweet baby girl was born yesterday morning at 9 am after only 5 hours of labor and 10 minutes of pushing. (crazy fast compared to the 23 hours of labor I had with Johnny) She was born at a birth center so, we brought her home around three in the afternoon yesterday. Poor Johnny is recovering from both a sinus and ear infection but he still has plenty of love for his Pearl. (snotty love)
I will have plenty more to show and tell in the coming days.

2007-08-06T13:49:00.001-07:00

Okay, I need to get this post written while Johnny is sleeping and while I am still pregnant, otherwise it's just not going to happen.
So much to tell. I hate that I completely skipped over blogging about my sweet boy's second birthday. I think he's convinced it just always his birthday now. Between an early birthday trip to Legoland with Mama and Papa and his actual party, not to mention visits from good friends and godparents who came bearing gifts and more birthday wishes, it been a month long celebration. We were grocery shopping this morning and he was singing "Happy Birthday" to himself rather loudly. Sheesh. I love seeing him so excited by all of the hoopla this year. Ofcourse, I think he's pretty amazing. It's so fun to have conversations with him and hear him come up with original statements and ideas and to watch him think things through. Yes, we are definately seeing a more defiant side as he further realizes and asserts his independence but I love that I can talk to him about it now and he truly has a kind heart and wants to do whats right.(well, most of the time) I am so proud of my big boy! He has brought us two years of laughter and joy and parenting him has taught us invaluable lessons.
In other news, we are recovering from yet another move. Our housesitting gig in Carlsbad is up and we are back in Escondido. As much as I enjoyed being so near the ocean it is good to be here. Evan's office is walking distance and I have a close friend around the block. We found a cute town house which met all my requirements ( has a yard, washer/dryer hookups.) I was really hoping to avoid an apartment and this place definitely has more of a "home" look and feel to it. It's been a frustrating move for me because I am limited by what I can lift and move around. Actually, part of why I am blogging right now is to help me get my mind off the sofa and boxes of books I SO want to move around the room. (what's the worse that could happen?....labor?..that wouldn't be so bad.) I would like to get a little more settled before the baby comes but at the same time I really want to meet this kid! I am due on the 16th but Johnny was eight days early,so, who knows. It dawned on me now that it was just over a year ago that I painfully letting you all know that I had miscarried and the hurt I was feeling but here I am now, full as the moon with this sweet child and oh, so thankful. I appreciate all your thoughts and prayers in these coming days. I am so excited to announce the birth of this babe and post pictures for all to see.
In the meantime, here is a recent family picture and probably the last to be taken of us with only one child in our arms. I would put up a better belly shot but this is the most recent picture I have available right now so you just get a peek.

"daddyion"

2007-07-06T15:00:00.001-07:00

Johnny is So Punk Rock

2007-07-02T08:16:00.000-07:00

Nellie the Elephant by the Toy Dolls has been one of my sons favorite songs ever since Evan put it on a mix cd for him. When I found this video of them on youtube I knew he'd love it. He cracks us up dancing and singing and he asks to watch it numerous times throughout the day. We've started burning him cd's with music that all of us can enjoy because nothing keeps him happier on long car rides or even while sitting around playing then some good music. Here's a list a few songs we ALL enjoy...

Uncle Joe-Red House Painters (he likes this one because he has an Uncle Joe whom he adores)
This Little Light of Mine- The Corn Sisters ( a very fun version of this Sunday school song)
I've Been Everywhere Man- Johnny Cash
I'm My Own Grandpa- Willie Nelson ( I find this song hilarious and it's even funnier when a two year old is singing along.)
Train to Skaville- The Ethiopians
Chicago-Sufjan Stevens

But before you start to think my kid is too cool, keep in mind this is also one of his all time favorites...

a meme

2007-06-29T18:23:00.000-07:00

RULES:
1. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
2. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
3. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

So, I actually was tagged for this by my friend Rose. Sorry, Rose, I forgot. And thanks, Aaron, for the second tag to help get me out a my blogging funk.
Here it goes...
1. I spoke my own language as a child. Even had a name for it.. Katu-meenu. What is really strange is that my older sister could translate for me. It wasn't until I was around 3 that I could speak English clearly.
2. I was baptized at a waterslide park.
3. I lived in a foreign country for ten years yet never learned the language and never felt at home. ( I regret that)
4. While in that foreign country I appeared in two different television commercials for Del Monte juice and one magazine ad for hair perm solution. All at the age of 13. They are pretty hilarious!
5. I once applied make up and fixed the hair of a 75 year old woman as she lay naked on the floor of the shower she had just slipped in. She wanted to make sure she looked good when the handsome paramedics arrived to help her. The memory of her always makes me smile.
6. I talk to myself a lot. Maybe, I think out loud, is a better way of putting that. Makes me sound less crazy.
7. I accidentally killed my beloved pet parakeet. I then lay him in a tampon box with a poem expressing my grief and buried him in the yard. I was 14.
8. I still know all the words to the songs in the HI-TOPS musical that was a big hit in a lot of So-Cal churches in the 80's. Regretfully, I no longer remember all the dance moves. Darn. Anybody else remember that one? ..."Look at me run with my hi-tops on!"...

There you have it..I really can't think of 8 people to tag. I 'll just say, Evan and Raina, since their blogs have been neglected for some time now.

What I see when I look down..

2007-06-27T15:44:00.000-07:00

Oh, right. A big belly....
These are what I see when I look beyond the big dome of baby. My new mayrjane Crocs. Aren't they cute! Thanks to my mother-in-law, I have happy, comfy, plum perfect feet!

I know that isn't a very exciting thing to blog about but life is getting busy again and I just wanted to post something before the chaos climaxes. The baby will be here soon and we will be moving back to Escondido by the end of July. Giving us only two weeks (give or take a week) before the baby is born to settle into a new place. Yikes! Your prayers are appreciated as we try to find a nice place where we can hopefully stay for awhile and also for the last few weeks of this pregnancy. I am really having to trust that God will provide and will orchestrate the timing of all these things. I have been very emotional and stressed about this on some days.
We did recently have an visit from family. My mom was in the country ( she lives in England)and she spent a few days with us, as well as my sister and her two kids. It was really wonderful to be with my family and see Johnny with his Nonnie, Auntie and cousins. We all went to Legoland which was SO much fun. I highly recommend it, there were plenty of rides and attractions for even young toddlers and Johnny is still talking about it. Unfortunately, most of the pictures were taken on my Mom's camera, but here a couple I had. I just can't end a blog without a picture of my kid.
He loved the barn!

Saying goodbye to Nonnie at the train station.

Photo Booth Fun

2007-06-04T14:31:00.000-07:00

Not in much of a blogging mood but here are some silly pictures. Evan got a new Mac and we all seem to get a kick out of the photo booth. Johnny calls it the "punny pace pictures." Haven't really gotten our "F" sound down yet. Smile!

Happy Birthday, Evan!

2007-05-19T13:37:00.001-07:00

My man turned 30 on Thursday. Unfortunately, blogger wouldn't let me blog about it until now. The celebrations haven't ended just yet. We have a dinner with family tonight and a dinner with friends in a couple weeks to mark this turning point. So many friends hitting 30 this year. I still have a couple years to go but it is strange to be reaching this age. I have a very clear childhood memory of my parents throwing a surprise 30th party for one of their friends. Weird! Instead of it making me feel old it just makes me realize how young they all were. I remember them being goofy with their friends and kids and well, acting like us.
Anyways, I love you, Ev. All 30 years of you. You were always a good man and have been an amazing friend to me all these years but I never could have known what an incredible father you would be. Thank you for loving me and our children. Thank you for leading me on this journey and helping me up when I fall, dusting me off and allowing me to do the same for you. Can't wait to see this next baby in your arms. And even though today was a little irritating and we weren't the kindest to each other, I still so enjoy your company whether it be watching Johnny play in the back yard or sitting across the table from you staring at your face, I am just content when you are near. Let's always stay near.

Summer in Spring

2007-05-09T13:51:00.000-07:00

It's been so warm this week, feels like summer already. (well, a mild and lovely summer, which isn't really how summer in So Cal is) We've been spending most of our time outdoors. Today we visited the Carlsbad Flower Fields. It was beautiful and has fields of my all time favorite flowers, ranunculus. We rode in a wagon pulled by a tractor to tour the fields which was a lot of fun. Aside from a lousy experience with a maze,( I remember now why I hated mazes as a kid) and bad diaper rash on my boy's booty ( the flowers must have blanketed the stench of a dirty diaper), it was a good day. Tomorrow we are headed to the beach!

The Toddler

2007-05-02T14:05:00.001-07:00

This picture pretty much sums up Johnny. Overall very sweet but if you look closely in his eyes you see a hint of mischief. Some days feel non-stop, if I turn my back for a second he is into or on or under or eating something he shouldn't. Makes me a little nervous to think of trying to sit and nurse a newborn when this little hurricane will be running rampant. Also it forces me to try to discriminate when he is being downright naughty or when he is simply being the vivacious and curious lover of life he was made to be. I don't want to encourage the naughty nor do I want to discourage the wonder. I need to keep him busy, that's for sure. It's been pretty challenging the last few weeks because I am exhausted. I hate it, I want to enjoy these last months when Johnny can have me to himself but I am realizing he is already sharing me now. I can tell he senses this because as it becomes more and more difficult to carry him around he is asking me to hold him much more than he used to. Pregnant or not, at nearly 35lbs that is no easy task! I know I wrote about how fast this pregnancy is going but suddenly it seems to have slowed to a crawl and I am really eager to be done. Maybe it's because I've been reading the blogs of some very expectant moms or maybe it's because I held a precious little nine week old today. Sigh. In the meantime, I have plenty to keep me busy. And by plenty, I mean this crazy kid..

By the way..thank you all who commented on my last post. I just received those comments today. I guess I accidentally changed a setting that requires me to publish those comments. I tried to undo the setting but it hasn't worked. Argh!
Anyways, it's nice to know that others share my plight. My dreams have left me alone for the most part, now if only my bladder would let me sleep!

Gray Day

2007-04-20T11:50:00.000-07:00

Last night sleep did not come easy and I feel the the last few hours were plagued by a series of really stressful dreams that revolved around me being a terrible parent. I rarely have "sweet dreams". They aren't nightmares, they are just intense, dramatic and when I wake in the morning I have to question whether it was real or not. Although, I was relieved to find it was ALL a dream ( no, I didn't actually leave my son in the car for hours, only to return to find him out of the car wandering around a parking lot) but I also awoke feeling a little ill and with a feverish toddler. Ugh. What a contrast to yesterday; the sun was shining, we explored a wonderful new park, Johnny was happy playing in mud and running through sprinklers. Oh well. Looking at the positive, it is Friday, Johnny is now peacefully sleeping and I think I will join him, hopefullly, dream free.
Happy Weekend!

CHRIST IS RISEN FROM THE DEAD!

2007-04-11T13:48:00.000-07:00

...and so has my blog. Not quite the same, though..
We had a wonderful Pascha! Never has the glory of Christ's resurrection been so real to me until participating in Orthodox Holy Week and Pascha. This year was unique in that we got to share it and see it through the eyes of our one year old. He loved participating in all the Holy Week services and had so much fun at the late night Pascha service. He stayed awake the entire time! Wide awake, talking, pointing, imitating the Priest. The drive home at 4:30 a.m. put him to sleep but he was still up by 7:30. Needless to say, we were pretty sleepy during the church potluck on Sunday. But it didn't slow Johnny down. We were fortunate to have Johnny's godparents and their daughter in town for the weekend so he got to spend time with his Uncle Nate and Aunt Annie. The only thing missing from our celebrations was our dear friends and precious goddaughters. They moved this past March way too far away and we miss them sorely.
Here are some pictures from our Pascha..
..as you can see I made Pascha bread and cheese for the first time this year. They were delicious. I got the recipe from a fellow blogger. (thanks, Elizabeth!)

..here's Johnny asleep on the way home (still holding his candle) and on Sunday, jumping in the bounce house they had at Church. So fun!

Since it has been some time since I last posted, I thought I'd give a little update on our comings and goings. There's been a lot of them. As I mentioned, our good friends, Greg and Julie, moved. They had been housesitting for friends living overseas until March, when Greg got a job out of state which required them to move. To make a long story short, we moved into the house they were watching. We figured it would provide us an opportunity to save up some money, pay off some debt and enjoy the beautiful city of Carlsbad. We will only be here a few more months but we are enjoying it. Johnny loves having a nice, kid friendly yard and best of all, a DOG! Here he is with his new best friend..

March was a very busy and fun month for us. Evan and I celebrated our seventh anniversary and we set out on our first real roatrip/vacation since having Johnny. Our main destination was Sacramento where we would meet up with my family to see my little brother graduate from the California Highway Patrol Academy. We proudly watched Joe get his badge and enjoyed being with family. If you ever get pulled over while driving in East L.A and out steps a 6'9" giant of a cop, be thankful because you are about to meet a very kind and genuine man (he still might write you a ticket, though). We visited other family and friends all the along the way. On the way home, we spent a night in Monterey and attended Liturgy at a church in Salinas where our first Priest now serves. It was wonderful to see him and to visit a Greek Orthodox Church again. (He is one of the reasons we named our son John.)
Here are pictures from our little trip, I'll let them speak for themselves..

As far as everyday life goes, we feel very blessed. I had my ultra sound and a healthy baby is growing and thriving. We aren't finding out who's in there this time but I was thankful to see that beautiful heart beating and adorable profile. Johnny is changing and growing so much, too! Everyday he cracks me up and surprises me with how much he is learning. We can actually have conversations now and I love hearing his take on things. I can't believe how much life I've experienced with Evan by my side and I am full of excitement and hope for what's to come.

2007-04-03T13:56:00.000-07:00

Well, I didn't mean to be away this long. I am not really back just yet...we are in the middle of holy week and I think I will wait until after Pascha (Easter) to post. I will be back with lots to tell and lots of photos. I miss you all!

Johnny & George

2007-02-08T15:15:00.000-08:00

Baby got the Blues..

2007-02-06T15:19:00.000-08:00

Johnny has finally figured out to play the harmonica he got for Christmas. He takes it pretty seriously and is totally impressed with himself. We think it's pretty great, too. (although noisy) He gets really into a times; dancing around and bobbing his head while he plays. I love how he enjoys music and instruments. When he's not playing the harmonica, he's either strumming his belly like a guitar or violently shaking his maracas. As loud as it can get, I prefer those noises a hundred times more than silly electronic toys.

Thank you for your well wishes and prayers. I count you all as friends and feel very humbled by all the kind words from both the people who know me well and those who have never even met me. Thank you, thank you!
Life is about to get very busy for us in the coming weeks. I think I will be taking a little blogging break. Maybe I will just post some photos here and there. I'll be back to tell all about it, though!

My Good News...

2007-01-31T13:23:00.000-08:00

Here is the the little secret I've been keeping from my blog. Since miscarrying last summer I was a hesitant to get the word out right away. Honestly, I still feel wary of publicizing my pregnancy, but I won't let the past rob my joy over this child. SO, here's why I've been sick, tired, moody and utterly happy the last few months. Emphasis on tired, though. Thankfully, everything is going well and come August there will be a new little face in our family. We can't wait!

Baby Talk

2007-01-23T13:13:00.000-08:00

Here is a conversation Johnny and I have a few times a day..
Mama: "Are you my baby?"
Johnny: " Aye a maan!
Mama: Are you my boy?
Johnny: "Aye a maaaaan!!!
Mama: "Oh! You're my little man!"
Johnny: "Uh-huh."

Here's my little man in his bubble bath. He likes having a beard like his Papa.

"Boob"

2007-01-16T16:32:00.000-08:00

The title of this post refers to what Johnny says when he wants to nurse. As crass as it may be, we have come to think it's quite funny and cute. Believe me, I have tried to get him to say nurse or nursey, anything else really. But, no. It's boob. Anyways, in the recent edition of Mothering magazine they chose a universal symbol for breastfeeding in hopes that it will appear in public places, on the door of a mother's lounge for example. The point is to create a more breastfeeding-friendly society. I love the image they chose and hope to see it in public. I, personally, have never had a bad experience breastfeeding in public. We aren't nursing a whole lot anymore but when I did I was always comfortable nursing wherever I happened to be. I've been invited to some nurse-ins by La Leche League but have never gone. Maybe if I'd had a bad experience where I was told to leave or something I would feel like more of an activist about it. But also, I've avoided them (nurse ins, not LLL) because I just don't view nursing my son as a statement. I think that why I know a lot of women are turned off to LLL, because they seem to come on too strong and want everyone to be activists. Don't get me wrong, they are a wonderful organization and can provide much needed support, especially in the first weeks when nursing can be stressful and painful, and I love the books they have published. Come to think of it, I must have tiny bit of activist in me considering how much I love the breastfeeding symbol and think it would look great on a t-shirt or baby onesie, etc.. I guess it's just sad how it seems like we have to choose sides in terms of how we mother. We put eachother into categories. This is especially evident to me when I attend a baby shower. As I talk with women about my birth or children and they hear I am still nursing my son, or that I had a drug free birth, they act like or sometimes come right out and say, "oh you are one of those." It bothers me. Some of you have been blogging a little about this and I guess it got me thinking. I know I personally am really trying not to put other women into a box or assume too much about how they mother by something like whether they nurse or not. I suppose that is another reason I have not gotten too heavily involved in LLL or AP play groups. I just don't want everyone I hang out with to have the exact same philosophy on mothering that I do.( not that I even follow AP by the book, anyhow) One of my best friends has raised her babies very differently than I have raised Johnny, yet I think we share the a very similar heart and passion for being moms. However, my carefulness in not judging others' methods of mothering has also encouraged me to be more open about my own. I used to feel embarrassed about telling people that Johnny sleeps with us, especially if I had already heard them go on and on about their baby sleeping through the night is his own room. I figured they would think I was a real push over. Our decision to co-sleep wasn't made by default; we gave it a lot of time, entered into it with a let's-see-if-this-works attitude, and felt at peace with our decision. We followed our hearts and I think that is the best we can do when it comes to those issues of parenting. I just hate to see women feeling like they have to decide how they are going to mother their baby when they are six months pregnant. Let them enter the world, stare at their little faces, get to know them a little bit and follow what your heart (not your crazy post-pardum emotions) is telling you. I know I didn't settle into my role as mama until Johnny was at least a few months old, but I would've been even more of wreck if I were trying to follow one strict philosophy that didn't allow a whole lot of flexibility.
Man, I think I've said enough. So, I hope this doesn't leave any of you with an "oh, she's one of those" feeling, I would hate to alienate anyone who has until now enjoyed visiting my blog. If you love your babies and are doing what you know is best and works for you and them, then we've got a whole lot in common!

Evan Jr.

2007-01-11T15:22:00.000-08:00

Once I was out alone with Johnny and I actually had this lady say to me, " Oh, he must look like his daddy." She has no idea how right she was.

New Year, New Post, Same Old Me..

2007-01-03T14:46:00.000-08:00

Again, not feeling much like blogging these days. But I am disappointed with myself for not busting out a nice Christmas blog with news of our festivities and pictures from all the nice family get togethers. It was all very warm and every year reminds me how grateful I should be for family and the generations my son is getting to grow up amidst. And the important thing is, CHRIST IS BORN! The services were beautiful and plentiful. We haven't been to church since Christmas due to a nasty cold and I can tell Johnny misses it. He keeps saying, "I won Awl" which means he wants Father Al, our priest. Hopefully, we will all be recovered and make it to vespers this Saturday.
New Years haven't been a big thing for me since becoming a Mama. Although, I was never much of a partier before that, either. I didn't anticipate even staying up past 10 o'clock, but we actually had a very fun night. Johnny had a bad cough which kept waking him, so I finally brought the poor kid downstairs where we all watched the Garrison Keeler New Years Special on KPBS. It was done very much like the Prairie Home Companion Shows and had some beautiful music. Johnny cracked us up as he danced and strummed on his tummy like he was playing guitar at 11 o'clock at night. At midnight, we gave each other new year/good night kisses and fell asleep to the sound of illegal fireworks. The best part was sleeping in the next morning!
2007 will mark ten years since I graduated high school. Ten years since I moved on my own to California from the Philippines, where I had lived for ten years as the daughter of missionaries.Ten years since I first shook hands and was introduced to my husband. Although, it wasn't until January of the following year that we spoke again. These are the sort of things a fresh year make me think about.
And of course, I am one of those suckers who makes some resolutions. Some are stupid, others more serious.
Here are a few.. Maybe publicizing them will help me keep them.
1. Write a letter to our Grandparents at least twice a month. I am shooting for once a week. Part of why I started this blog was because I am terrible about sending letters and e-mails, so I thought I could post my news and pictures here. Unfortunately, our Grandparents don't have access to the internet all the time and I need let them know I think about them and keep them informed on our lives.
2. Cook and bake more. I want to really dive into new recipes and bake and cook food that intimidates me. My goal is to only bake my bread instead of buy it. I've been baking bread for some time and actually worked in a bakery, so that doesn't intimidate me, it just requires more out of me.
3. Sew something, anything. I have a machine on loan for a few months and I need to put that baby to work.
4. Pray more. Memorize prayers.
5. Read more.
What are yours?
Well, I am enjoying getting caught on all my blogging friends holidays and celebrations. May this be a blessed new year for all!

And now for something completely different...Who knew a one year old could look THIS bad?!

2006-12-11T12:42:00.000-08:00

I just haven't had it in me to blog these past few weeks. I am busy, tired and just not very inspired when I sit down at this computer. There's been plenty to blog about. Thanksgiving, my parents visiting from England, my blog turning a year old, getting ready for Christmas and of course, the endless adventures of John Henry. So, I'll play catch up for a moment. Thanksgiving was great, like I mentioned my parents are in the country. They live in Oxford, England as missionaries. This was the first Thanksgiving with my whole side of the family in around 10 yrs. It was wonderful to be with all that "blood" and see my child, and my sister's children playing with their Grandparents, as the Great Grandparents watched. Johnny and I took a 9 hour road trip with my folks up to spend some time with my sister in her home in Paradise. We were gone about a week and I am so glad Johnny had all that time with my parents and his cousins. I fee like he knows them now and will know who I am talking about when I say their names or we speak with them on the phone. I returned home, happy to see Evan and be back with my family here. And I was very eager to start making my home look like Christmas since it sure didn't feel like Christmas outside. We have had such warm weather here, it was getting to be disgusting. So, I am loving the rain we've had the past couple night. Bring it on! Saturday, Johnny and I, and our favorite neighbors went to the 56th annual Escondido Christmas Parade. (something like that.) It was pretty funny, such an eclectic variety of floats. My favorites were the Shriners, (which I have pictured driving around in those crazy little cars), the marching bands( I just love marching bands) and the low riders, with hydraulics, bouncing their cars down the street. It was ridiculously great. What was really cute was how Johnny and Leif sat next to each other on the curb, clapping and waving.

Here are a couple parade pictures...

Leif and Johnny...

2006-11-16T14:16:00.000-08:00

...have been buddies since birth (they are six weeks apart)
...enjoy screaming contests when out in public
...love to chase each other around
...also love to completely ignore eachother
...have great heads of hair
...are too cute!

Press Pause

2006-11-09T15:13:00.000-08:00

These are some professional photos taken of Johnny a few months back. I am feeling like I want time to slow down and for him to stay this way a little while longer. He's growing up SO fast! I am happy to have these pictures which have captured him at this age so beautifully.

It's About Time...

2006-11-07T19:51:00.000-08:00

For the first time. I guess growing up overseas (missionary kid) made me think I didn't really care. I am a voter now, promise.

Morning Walk

2006-11-02T11:32:00.000-08:00

Living in an apartment, we don't have a yard for Johnny to get outdoors and explore. So, we take walks around the neighborhood instead. I love watching him check everything out. He's terrible about following or staying with me, infact, I think he waits to see which direction I plan to go so he can head the other way. Nonetheless, we have a lot of fun and I think it wears him out. He is sound asleep right now.

Brown Bear

2006-11-01T08:51:00.000-08:00

Just for Fun.

2006-10-20T16:14:00.000-07:00

I've got some time on my hands, babe is asleep and I have thirty minutes before Evan gets home. I thought this little questionaire that some other blog friends have done looked like fun. I just love music and often have it playing when I am home. My car stereo was stolen a few months back and has yet to be replaced. Despite my own singing accompanied by Johnny's yells, giggles and "gawks", driving just isn't the same.
Anyways, here it goes...
WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK TO YOUR LIFE BE?
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
* I did skip songs, but only the ones that were strictly Evan's music and songs I never actually listen to.(i.e. he is a big dinosaur jr. fan, me, not so much.)

*Opening Credits: Metal Heart- Pedro the Lion.
*Waking Up: The One Red Star- Songs:Ohia.
*First Day of School- A Hunting We Will Go- Hem. ( I actuall skipped the Jimmie Rodgers song, Pistol Packing Papa, because I didn't think it counted as MY music. This was what came on next.What's with the gun theme?)
*Falling in Love: Quito- The Mountain Goats.
*Fight Song: Smooth Death- The Danielson Family.
*Breaking Up: All the Morning Birds- Jolie Holland
*Prom: The Beast in Me- Johnny Cash.
*Life: Lucky- Hem.
*Career: Byrd Joel- Red House Painters.
*Mental Breakdown: Ghost Waltz- Jolie Holland.
*Driving: Stable Boy Song- The Mountain Goats.
*Flashback: Big Decision- Damien Jurado. (Just saw him in concert Wednesday night.I was hoping he would show up on this thing.He is one of my favorites!)
*Getting Back Together: Willful Supsension of Disbelief- Modest Mouse.
*Wedding: He Lays in the Reins-Calexico/Iron&Wine.
*Birth of a Child: Show Me- Over the Rhine.
*Midlife Crisis: To Those Who Will Burn- Damien Jurado.
*Final Battle: Carry Me Ohio- Sun Kil Moon.
*Death Scene: I Can Not Have Seen the Light- Magnolia Electric Company.(well, that wasn't planned)
*Funeral Song: Rosewood Casket- Damien Jurado. HA! I am entering these as they play and it's pretty funny how well this last one works.A rosewood casket will be just fine for me, thank you. It's a very pretty song, and if you haven't heard of him, I'd encourage you to give him a listen.
*Ending Credits: Disillusion- Badly Drawn Boy.
The End.

Pumpkin Patch, Petting Zoo & Pony Rides

2006-10-17T13:28:00.000-07:00

I have really come to love Mondays. They are Grandma day. She come out and sometimes we just hang round the house and play other times we go on little adventures. I love that Johnny has this day with her and it is so nice for me, too. Not only to have her there keeping my son so happy, but I also just love her company. Last Monday was quite fun and I've been meaning to blog about it, so, here I go..About thirty minutes east of us gets you into the country with lots of open land and ranch homes. Amidst it all is great place called Bates Nut Farm. We headed out there with Johnny's Grandma and GiGi (Great Grandma) and our friend Tanya. It was so green and beautiful all around, it definitely beats those pumpkin patches in the parking lots of malls..

Johnny was pretty serious about the pumpkins, he climbed on them a bit and liked just running around. But his whole demeanor changed when we stepped in the petting zoo and he met his first goat. He was so gentle and just sat by her in that little house stroking her and making funny faces at me.

Then we got to the ponies. He was interested but I was pretty certain once we put him on one he would flip out. Afterall, he cried when we let him ride those silly mechanical cars in front of the grocery store. Boy, was I wrong! This kid just loves animals. He had the greatest faces the whole time and was squealing and laughing. He kept stroking the ponies mane and when the ride was over Johnny was still bouncing in his saddle ready for another go. We did let him ride again later that day, it was just too cute. The whole time he was riding, I just couldn't get over how he looked like such a kid, not my baby. Sigh.

2006-10-14T11:18:00.000-07:00

My son is sick. It's hard for me to even write those words. I feel personal failure when Johnny gets sick. Of course, overwhelmingly, I am just sorry to see him hurting but his illness also causes me to question myself. What I am doing wrong? Aren't nursing babies supposed to be immune to illnesses, especially ear infections?? Where's the pay off for all the time I spend nursing him still? I am realizing that this attitude is pervasive in other areas of my life. When Evan and I struggle financially, I question, why are there so many wealthy with excess when I just want enought to get by? Evan works hard, finished his college degree, where are the benefits of that? I guess I feel owed something. How terrible!
What I fail to see is, in the 15 months my son has been around, probably ten days have been spent sick. We may not have a whole lot of money, but there is laughter in our home everyday. That prayer I found in my prayer book could not have come at a better time. I so easily focus on the problem, the despair, the emptiness and threats. I fail to see the meaning, promises, possiblities and hope. I fail to see Christ. When I do, how can I ask what I am owed? Everything I've already been given I never deserved in the first place.

Put Me in the Zoo!

2006-10-12T14:09:00.004-07:00

Johnny and I made our way to the beautiful San Diego Zoo today. It was nice to spend that time alone with him. I kind of just let him lead the way, we didn't even end up seeing a whole lot of animals but the ones we did see we spent a lot of time looking at and talking about. More than anything, he just liked exploring, people watching and climbing on any and everything. He is so much fun! On a different note, Johnny was called a girl more than once today. Oh well, I am keeping the curls! (for now, anyway.)

Fathers and Sons

2006-10-11T15:06:00.000-07:00

Sunday we got together with some of Evan's family. Johnny is blessed to have two Great Grandpa's and three Great Grandma's in his life. Here are four generations of Keeling men.

O Lord, Help Me...

2006-10-08T19:19:00.000-07:00

In silence
to find peace, not just emptiness
In suffering
to find meaning, not just agony
In knowledge
to find wisdom, not just information
In routine
to find order, not just boredom
In order
to find purpose, not just the expected
In daily life
to find surprises, no just conformity
In prayer
to find You, not just my own desires
In change
to find promises, not just threats
In opportunities
to find possibilities, not just problems
In sin
to find forgiveness, not just guilt
In problems
to find hope, not just despair
In leadership
to find directions, not just power
In challenges
to find trust in You, not just personal insecurity. amen

~I found this prayer in the back of one of my prayer books. Just thought I'd share it.

2006-10-02T16:43:00.000-07:00

We celebrated our precious goddaugthers' first birthday on Saturday. It was so much fun! Evan and I continue to feel so blessed to be a part of their lives in such a special way. We just love them and it's so great to see them turn into such individuals. Little miss Ainsley is dainty and sweet. She has become so social and will say “hi” in her sing-song voice to just about anyone. Ava girl is active and strong, she loves pushing her sister around in their push cart (whatever you call it). She can stare you down when in the mood but also has a great belly laugh. It's wonderful to live close enough to see them throughout the week. May God grant our dear girls and their parents who have worked so hard and done such a great job the past year, many many more years!
I got inspired by some of you bloggers and made the girls a banner and birthday crowns. I included pictures of those. It was so much fun to put them together and I will definitely be making more. I am working on one for my niece, in fact. Thanks for the ideas!

Making Faces (part two)

2006-09-23T19:13:00.000-07:00

Johnny had us cracking up at dinner tonight. He gets in these moods where he knows he's being funny and starts making all these ridiculous faces to makes us laugh. We do enjoy it. By the way, part two refers to a post I did in the early days of my blog. You can check out those silly faces under the January archive.

a precious moment ( no, not the cheesy doll)

2006-09-15T12:17:00.000-07:00

Have a great weekend, friends! Take some time to sit and read, pray, think.

A Year of John Henry

2006-09-11T23:31:00.000-07:00

I can't believe my baby boy's first birthday has come and gone. He is almost 14 mos. old and seems to do something new and be less of a baby everyday. But I still see that sweet newborn in when I look at his beautiful face. He is a VERY active one year old. Most of the day is spent running around the house. All play is in motion and because of that my entire downstairs is covered with toys by the end of the day. Books are the only that will get him to sit still. He loves to be read to and loves to just sit on his own and flip through the pages. Animal books are his favorite and he can make more animal sounds than there are words in his vocabulary. But he does say, Papa, Grandma, Grandpa, Mama, book, cup, bath (bap), ball, dog and cat,oh yes and "GAWK". Gawk is his all purpose word. If he wants to nurse, "gawk". If he wants to read a book, "gawk bawk". Whatever it is, it's cute.
Johnny and Evan have entered a new relationship now that he is older and less dependant on me alone. He just loves his Papa. Runs to the window saying Papa when he hears a car pull up in front of our house. Johnny especially likes it when I sing him songs about Papa, which has required me to get creative and either make up some songs, or insert the papa into songs I already know. "Johnny's Papa had a farm.." Silly, but he loves it.
One of the new things Johnny has begun to do, which almost made me cry (happy cry) the first time, is cross himself. We never worked too hard at getting him to do it but he started when we would pray at meals or in the evening. Now he walks around the house crossing himself, or if I mention church he crosses himself. Sometimes rather dramatically. He also loves the icons. This thrills us, considering he is named after St. John of Damascus who defended the icons when the church was accused of idolatry. It's just great to see him interacting and learning his faith even at such a young age. Which makes having him in church, even on the Sundays where he is especially squirmy or loud, so worth it.
It's really good for me to write all of this right now. We've have been having a really rough week with Johnny cutting four teeth and fighting a cold. Motherhood has been demanding a lot of patience and selflessness and it's been hard. I feel like a lousy mom and wife some days. It's good for me to think about what I love and ofcourse, I could say more, but I think I'll just put up some pictures instead. Some old and new, so you can see how much he's changed and what hasn't.

Chop, Chop!

2006-09-02T13:28:00.000-07:00

I cut it all off today! It feels great and what feels even better is that I had enough hair to make two seperate pony tails to donate to Locks of Love. Sheesh, that's a lot of hair!