Johnny & George

Baby got the Blues..

Johnny has finally figured out to play the harmonica he got for Christmas. He takes it pretty seriously and is totally impressed with himself. We think it's pretty great, too. (although noisy) He gets really into a times; dancing around and bobbing his head while he plays. I love how he enjoys music and instruments. When he's not playing the harmonica, he's either strumming his belly like a guitar or violently shaking his maracas. As loud as it can get, I prefer those noises a hundred times more than silly electronic toys.


Thank you for your well wishes and prayers. I count you all as friends and feel very humbled by all the kind words from both the people who know me well and those who have never even met me. Thank you, thank you!
Life is about to get very busy for us in the coming weeks. I think I will be taking a little blogging break. Maybe I will just post some photos here and there. I'll be back to tell all about it, though!

My Good News...

Here is the the little secret I've been keeping from my blog. Since miscarrying last summer I was a hesitant to get the word out right away. Honestly, I still feel wary of publicizing my pregnancy, but I won't let the past rob my joy over this child. SO, here's why I've been sick, tired, moody and utterly happy the last few months. Emphasis on tired, though. Thankfully, everything is going well and come August there will be a new little face in our family. We can't wait!

Baby Talk

Here is a conversation Johnny and I have a few times a day..
Mama: "Are you my baby?"
Johnny: " Aye a maan!
Mama: Are you my boy?
Johnny: "Aye a maaaaan!!!
Mama: "Oh! You're my little man!"
Johnny: "Uh-huh."

Here's my little man in his bubble bath. He likes having a beard like his Papa.

"Boob"

The title of this post refers to what Johnny says when he wants to nurse. As crass as it may be, we have come to think it's quite funny and cute. Believe me, I have tried to get him to say nurse or nursey, anything else really. But, no. It's boob. Anyways, in the recent edition of Mothering magazine they chose a universal symbol for breastfeeding in hopes that it will appear in public places, on the door of a mother's lounge for example. The point is to create a more breastfeeding-friendly society. I love the image they chose and hope to see it in public. I, personally, have never had a bad experience breastfeeding in public. We aren't nursing a whole lot anymore but when I did I was always comfortable nursing wherever I happened to be. I've been invited to some nurse-ins by La Leche League but have never gone. Maybe if I'd had a bad experience where I was told to leave or something I would feel like more of an activist about it. But also, I've avoided them (nurse ins, not LLL) because I just don't view nursing my son as a statement. I think that why I know a lot of women are turned off to LLL, because they seem to come on too strong and want everyone to be activists. Don't get me wrong, they are a wonderful organization and can provide much needed support, especially in the first weeks when nursing can be stressful and painful, and I love the books they have published. Come to think of it, I must have tiny bit of activist in me considering how much I love the breastfeeding symbol and think it would look great on a t-shirt or baby onesie, etc.. I guess it's just sad how it seems like we have to choose sides in terms of how we mother. We put eachother into categories. This is especially evident to me when I attend a baby shower. As I talk with women about my birth or children and they hear I am still nursing my son, or that I had a drug free birth, they act like or sometimes come right out and say, "oh you are one of those." It bothers me. Some of you have been blogging a little about this and I guess it got me thinking. I know I personally am really trying not to put other women into a box or assume too much about how they mother by something like whether they nurse or not. I suppose that is another reason I have not gotten too heavily involved in LLL or AP play groups. I just don't want everyone I hang out with to have the exact same philosophy on mothering that I do.( not that I even follow AP by the book, anyhow) One of my best friends has raised her babies very differently than I have raised Johnny, yet I think we share the a very similar heart and passion for being moms. However, my carefulness in not judging others' methods of mothering has also encouraged me to be more open about my own. I used to feel embarrassed about telling people that Johnny sleeps with us, especially if I had already heard them go on and on about their baby sleeping through the night is his own room. I figured they would think I was a real push over. Our decision to co-sleep wasn't made by default; we gave it a lot of time, entered into it with a let's-see-if-this-works attitude, and felt at peace with our decision. We followed our hearts and I think that is the best we can do when it comes to those issues of parenting. I just hate to see women feeling like they have to decide how they are going to mother their baby when they are six months pregnant. Let them enter the world, stare at their little faces, get to know them a little bit and follow what your heart (not your crazy post-pardum emotions) is telling you. I know I didn't settle into my role as mama until Johnny was at least a few months old, but I would've been even more of wreck if I were trying to follow one strict philosophy that didn't allow a whole lot of flexibility.
Man, I think I've said enough. So, I hope this doesn't leave any of you with an "oh, she's one of those" feeling, I would hate to alienate anyone who has until now enjoyed visiting my blog. If you love your babies and are doing what you know is best and works for you and them, then we've got a whole lot in common!

Evan Jr.

Once I was out alone with Johnny and I actually had this lady say to me, " Oh, he must look like his daddy." She has no idea how right she was.

New Year, New Post, Same Old Me..

Again, not feeling much like blogging these days. But I am disappointed with myself for not busting out a nice Christmas blog with news of our festivities and pictures from all the nice family get togethers. It was all very warm and every year reminds me how grateful I should be for family and the generations my son is getting to grow up amidst. And the important thing is, CHRIST IS BORN! The services were beautiful and plentiful. We haven't been to church since Christmas due to a nasty cold and I can tell Johnny misses it. He keeps saying, "I won Awl" which means he wants Father Al, our priest. Hopefully, we will all be recovered and make it to vespers this Saturday.
New Years haven't been a big thing for me since becoming a Mama. Although, I was never much of a partier before that, either. I didn't anticipate even staying up past 10 o'clock, but we actually had a very fun night. Johnny had a bad cough which kept waking him, so I finally brought the poor kid downstairs where we all watched the Garrison Keeler New Years Special on KPBS. It was done very much like the Prairie Home Companion Shows and had some beautiful music. Johnny cracked us up as he danced and strummed on his tummy like he was playing guitar at 11 o'clock at night. At midnight, we gave each other new year/good night kisses and fell asleep to the sound of illegal fireworks. The best part was sleeping in the next morning!
2007 will mark ten years since I graduated high school. Ten years since I moved on my own to California from the Philippines, where I had lived for ten years as the daughter of missionaries.Ten years since I first shook hands and was introduced to my husband. Although, it wasn't until January of the following year that we spoke again. These are the sort of things a fresh year make me think about.
And of course, I am one of those suckers who makes some resolutions. Some are stupid, others more serious.
Here are a few.. Maybe publicizing them will help me keep them.
1. Write a letter to our Grandparents at least twice a month. I am shooting for once a week. Part of why I started this blog was because I am terrible about sending letters and e-mails, so I thought I could post my news and pictures here. Unfortunately, our Grandparents don't have access to the internet all the time and I need let them know I think about them and keep them informed on our lives.
2. Cook and bake more. I want to really dive into new recipes and bake and cook food that intimidates me. My goal is to only bake my bread instead of buy it. I've been baking bread for some time and actually worked in a bakery, so that doesn't intimidate me, it just requires more out of me.
3. Sew something, anything. I have a machine on loan for a few months and I need to put that baby to work.
4. Pray more. Memorize prayers.
5. Read more.
What are yours?
Well, I am enjoying getting caught on all my blogging friends holidays and celebrations. May this be a blessed new year for all!

And now for something completely different...Who knew a one year old could look THIS bad?!

I just haven't had it in me to blog these past few weeks. I am busy, tired and just not very inspired when I sit down at this computer. There's been plenty to blog about. Thanksgiving, my parents visiting from England, my blog turning a year old, getting ready for Christmas and of course, the endless adventures of John Henry. So, I'll play catch up for a moment. Thanksgiving was great, like I mentioned my parents are in the country. They live in Oxford, England as missionaries. This was the first Thanksgiving with my whole side of the family in around 10 yrs. It was wonderful to be with all that "blood" and see my child, and my sister's children playing with their Grandparents, as the Great Grandparents watched. Johnny and I took a 9 hour road trip with my folks up to spend some time with my sister in her home in Paradise. We were gone about a week and I am so glad Johnny had all that time with my parents and his cousins. I fee like he knows them now and will know who I am talking about when I say their names or we speak with them on the phone. I returned home, happy to see Evan and be back with my family here. And I was very eager to start making my home look like Christmas since it sure didn't feel like Christmas outside. We have had such warm weather here, it was getting to be disgusting. So, I am loving the rain we've had the past couple night. Bring it on! Saturday, Johnny and I, and our favorite neighbors went to the 56th annual Escondido Christmas Parade. (something like that.) It was pretty funny, such an eclectic variety of floats. My favorites were the Shriners, (which I have pictured driving around in those crazy little cars), the marching bands( I just love marching bands) and the low riders, with hydraulics, bouncing their cars down the street. It was ridiculously great. What was really cute was how Johnny and Leif sat next to each other on the curb, clapping and waving.

Here are a couple parade pictures...

Leif and Johnny...

...have been buddies since birth (they are six weeks apart)
...enjoy screaming contests when out in public
...love to chase each other around
...also love to completely ignore eachother
...have great heads of hair
...are too cute!

Press Pause

These are some professional photos taken of Johnny a few months back. I am feeling like I want time to slow down and for him to stay this way a little while longer. He's growing up SO fast! I am happy to have these pictures which have captured him at this age so beautifully.

It's About Time...

For the first time. I guess growing up overseas (missionary kid) made me think I didn't really care. I am a voter now, promise.

Morning Walk

Living in an apartment, we don't have a yard for Johnny to get outdoors and explore. So, we take walks around the neighborhood instead. I love watching him check everything out. He's terrible about following or staying with me, infact, I think he waits to see which direction I plan to go so he can head the other way. Nonetheless, we have a lot of fun and I think it wears him out. He is sound asleep right now.

Brown Bear

Just for Fun.

I've got some time on my hands, babe is asleep and I have thirty minutes before Evan gets home. I thought this little questionaire that some other blog friends have done looked like fun. I just love music and often have it playing when I am home. My car stereo was stolen a few months back and has yet to be replaced. Despite my own singing accompanied by Johnny's yells, giggles and "gawks", driving just isn't the same.
Anyways, here it goes...
WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK TO YOUR LIFE BE?
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
* I did skip songs, but only the ones that were strictly Evan's music and songs I never actually listen to.(i.e. he is a big dinosaur jr. fan, me, not so much.)

*Opening Credits: Metal Heart- Pedro the Lion.
*Waking Up: The One Red Star- Songs:Ohia.
*First Day of School- A Hunting We Will Go- Hem. ( I actuall skipped the Jimmie Rodgers song, Pistol Packing Papa, because I didn't think it counted as MY music. This was what came on next.What's with the gun theme?)
*Falling in Love: Quito- The Mountain Goats.
*Fight Song: Smooth Death- The Danielson Family.
*Breaking Up: All the Morning Birds- Jolie Holland
*Prom: The Beast in Me- Johnny Cash.
*Life: Lucky- Hem.
*Career: Byrd Joel- Red House Painters.
*Mental Breakdown: Ghost Waltz- Jolie Holland.
*Driving: Stable Boy Song- The Mountain Goats.
*Flashback: Big Decision- Damien Jurado. (Just saw him in concert Wednesday night.I was hoping he would show up on this thing.He is one of my favorites!)
*Getting Back Together: Willful Supsension of Disbelief- Modest Mouse.
*Wedding: He Lays in the Reins-Calexico/Iron&Wine.
*Birth of a Child: Show Me- Over the Rhine.
*Midlife Crisis: To Those Who Will Burn- Damien Jurado.
*Final Battle: Carry Me Ohio- Sun Kil Moon.
*Death Scene: I Can Not Have Seen the Light- Magnolia Electric Company.(well, that wasn't planned)
*Funeral Song: Rosewood Casket- Damien Jurado. HA! I am entering these as they play and it's pretty funny how well this last one works.A rosewood casket will be just fine for me, thank you. It's a very pretty song, and if you haven't heard of him, I'd encourage you to give him a listen.
*Ending Credits: Disillusion- Badly Drawn Boy.
The End.

Pumpkin Patch, Petting Zoo & Pony Rides

I have really come to love Mondays. They are Grandma day. She come out and sometimes we just hang round the house and play other times we go on little adventures. I love that Johnny has this day with her and it is so nice for me, too. Not only to have her there keeping my son so happy, but I also just love her company. Last Monday was quite fun and I've been meaning to blog about it, so, here I go..About thirty minutes east of us gets you into the country with lots of open land and ranch homes. Amidst it all is great place called Bates Nut Farm. We headed out there with Johnny's Grandma and GiGi (Great Grandma) and our friend Tanya. It was so green and beautiful all around, it definitely beats those pumpkin patches in the parking lots of malls..




Johnny was pretty serious about the pumpkins, he climbed on them a bit and liked just running around. But his whole demeanor changed when we stepped in the petting zoo and he met his first goat. He was so gentle and just sat by her in that little house stroking her and making funny faces at me.


Then we got to the ponies. He was interested but I was pretty certain once we put him on one he would flip out. Afterall, he cried when we let him ride those silly mechanical cars in front of the grocery store. Boy, was I wrong! This kid just loves animals. He had the greatest faces the whole time and was squealing and laughing. He kept stroking the ponies mane and when the ride was over Johnny was still bouncing in his saddle ready for another go. We did let him ride again later that day, it was just too cute. The whole time he was riding, I just couldn't get over how he looked like such a kid, not my baby. Sigh.

My son is sick. It's hard for me to even write those words. I feel personal failure when Johnny gets sick. Of course, overwhelmingly, I am just sorry to see him hurting but his illness also causes me to question myself. What I am doing wrong? Aren't nursing babies supposed to be immune to illnesses, especially ear infections?? Where's the pay off for all the time I spend nursing him still? I am realizing that this attitude is pervasive in other areas of my life. When Evan and I struggle financially, I question, why are there so many wealthy with excess when I just want enought to get by? Evan works hard, finished his college degree, where are the benefits of that? I guess I feel owed something. How terrible!
What I fail to see is, in the 15 months my son has been around, probably ten days have been spent sick. We may not have a whole lot of money, but there is laughter in our home everyday. That prayer I found in my prayer book could not have come at a better time. I so easily focus on the problem, the despair, the emptiness and threats. I fail to see the meaning, promises, possiblities and hope. I fail to see Christ. When I do, how can I ask what I am owed? Everything I've already been given I never deserved in the first place.

Put Me in the Zoo!

Johnny and I made our way to the beautiful San Diego Zoo today. It was nice to spend that time alone with him. I kind of just let him lead the way, we didn't even end up seeing a whole lot of animals but the ones we did see we spent a lot of time looking at and talking about. More than anything, he just liked exploring, people watching and climbing on any and everything. He is so much fun! On a different note, Johnny was called a girl more than once today. Oh well, I am keeping the curls! (for now, anyway.)

Fathers and Sons

Sunday we got together with some of Evan's family. Johnny is blessed to have two Great Grandpa's and three Great Grandma's in his life. Here are four generations of Keeling men.

O Lord, Help Me...

In silence
to find peace, not just emptiness
In suffering
to find meaning, not just agony
In knowledge
to find wisdom, not just information
In routine
to find order, not just boredom
In order
to find purpose, not just the expected
In daily life
to find surprises, no just conformity
In prayer
to find You, not just my own desires
In change
to find promises, not just threats
In opportunities
to find possibilities, not just problems
In sin
to find forgiveness, not just guilt
In problems
to find hope, not just despair
In leadership
to find directions, not just power
In challenges
to find trust in You, not just personal insecurity. amen

~I found this prayer in the back of one of my prayer books. Just thought I'd share it.

We celebrated our precious goddaugthers' first birthday on Saturday. It was so much fun! Evan and I continue to feel so blessed to be a part of their lives in such a special way. We just love them and it's so great to see them turn into such individuals. Little miss Ainsley is dainty and sweet. She has become so social and will say “hi” in her sing-song voice to just about anyone. Ava girl is active and strong, she loves pushing her sister around in their push cart (whatever you call it). She can stare you down when in the mood but also has a great belly laugh. It's wonderful to live close enough to see them throughout the week. May God grant our dear girls and their parents who have worked so hard and done such a great job the past year, many many more years!
I got inspired by some of you bloggers and made the girls a banner and birthday crowns. I included pictures of those. It was so much fun to put them together and I will definitely be making more. I am working on one for my niece, in fact. Thanks for the ideas!