Happy Birthday, Evan!

My man turned 30 on Thursday. Unfortunately, blogger wouldn't let me blog about it until now. The celebrations haven't ended just yet. We have a dinner with family tonight and a dinner with friends in a couple weeks to mark this turning point. So many friends hitting 30 this year. I still have a couple years to go but it is strange to be reaching this age. I have a very clear childhood memory of my parents throwing a surprise 30th party for one of their friends. Weird! Instead of it making me feel old it just makes me realize how young they all were. I remember them being goofy with their friends and kids and well, acting like us.
Anyways, I love you, Ev. All 30 years of you. You were always a good man and have been an amazing friend to me all these years but I never could have known what an incredible father you would be. Thank you for loving me and our children. Thank you for leading me on this journey and helping me up when I fall, dusting me off and allowing me to do the same for you. Can't wait to see this next baby in your arms. And even though today was a little irritating and we weren't the kindest to each other, I still so enjoy your company whether it be watching Johnny play in the back yard or sitting across the table from you staring at your face, I am just content when you are near. Let's always stay near.

Summer in Spring

It's been so warm this week, feels like summer already. (well, a mild and lovely summer, which isn't really how summer in So Cal is) We've been spending most of our time outdoors. Today we visited the Carlsbad Flower Fields. It was beautiful and has fields of my all time favorite flowers, ranunculus. We rode in a wagon pulled by a tractor to tour the fields which was a lot of fun. Aside from a lousy experience with a maze,( I remember now why I hated mazes as a kid) and bad diaper rash on my boy's booty ( the flowers must have blanketed the stench of a dirty diaper), it was a good day. Tomorrow we are headed to the beach!

The Toddler

This picture pretty much sums up Johnny. Overall very sweet but if you look closely in his eyes you see a hint of mischief. Some days feel non-stop, if I turn my back for a second he is into or on or under or eating something he shouldn't. Makes me a little nervous to think of trying to sit and nurse a newborn when this little hurricane will be running rampant. Also it forces me to try to discriminate when he is being downright naughty or when he is simply being the vivacious and curious lover of life he was made to be. I don't want to encourage the naughty nor do I want to discourage the wonder. I need to keep him busy, that's for sure. It's been pretty challenging the last few weeks because I am exhausted. I hate it, I want to enjoy these last months when Johnny can have me to himself but I am realizing he is already sharing me now. I can tell he senses this because as it becomes more and more difficult to carry him around he is asking me to hold him much more than he used to. Pregnant or not, at nearly 35lbs that is no easy task! I know I wrote about how fast this pregnancy is going but suddenly it seems to have slowed to a crawl and I am really eager to be done. Maybe it's because I've been reading the blogs of some very expectant moms or maybe it's because I held a precious little nine week old today. Sigh. In the meantime, I have plenty to keep me busy. And by plenty, I mean this crazy kid..

By the way..thank you all who commented on my last post. I just received those comments today. I guess I accidentally changed a setting that requires me to publish those comments. I tried to undo the setting but it hasn't worked. Argh!
Anyways, it's nice to know that others share my plight. My dreams have left me alone for the most part, now if only my bladder would let me sleep!

Gray Day

Last night sleep did not come easy and I feel the the last few hours were plagued by a series of really stressful dreams that revolved around me being a terrible parent. I rarely have "sweet dreams". They aren't nightmares, they are just intense, dramatic and when I wake in the morning I have to question whether it was real or not. Although, I was relieved to find it was ALL a dream ( no, I didn't actually leave my son in the car for hours, only to return to find him out of the car wandering around a parking lot) but I also awoke feeling a little ill and with a feverish toddler. Ugh. What a contrast to yesterday; the sun was shining, we explored a wonderful new park, Johnny was happy playing in mud and running through sprinklers. Oh well. Looking at the positive, it is Friday, Johnny is now peacefully sleeping and I think I will join him, hopefullly, dream free.
Happy Weekend!

CHRIST IS RISEN FROM THE DEAD!

...and so has my blog. Not quite the same, though..
We had a wonderful Pascha! Never has the glory of Christ's resurrection been so real to me until participating in Orthodox Holy Week and Pascha. This year was unique in that we got to share it and see it through the eyes of our one year old. He loved participating in all the Holy Week services and had so much fun at the late night Pascha service. He stayed awake the entire time! Wide awake, talking, pointing, imitating the Priest. The drive home at 4:30 a.m. put him to sleep but he was still up by 7:30. Needless to say, we were pretty sleepy during the church potluck on Sunday. But it didn't slow Johnny down. We were fortunate to have Johnny's godparents and their daughter in town for the weekend so he got to spend time with his Uncle Nate and Aunt Annie. The only thing missing from our celebrations was our dear friends and precious goddaughters. They moved this past March way too far away and we miss them sorely.
Here are some pictures from our Pascha..
..as you can see I made Pascha bread and cheese for the first time this year. They were delicious. I got the recipe from a fellow blogger. (thanks, Elizabeth!)

..here's Johnny asleep on the way home (still holding his candle) and on Sunday, jumping in the bounce house they had at Church. So fun!

Since it has been some time since I last posted, I thought I'd give a little update on our comings and goings. There's been a lot of them. As I mentioned, our good friends, Greg and Julie, moved. They had been housesitting for friends living overseas until March, when Greg got a job out of state which required them to move. To make a long story short, we moved into the house they were watching. We figured it would provide us an opportunity to save up some money, pay off some debt and enjoy the beautiful city of Carlsbad. We will only be here a few more months but we are enjoying it. Johnny loves having a nice, kid friendly yard and best of all, a DOG! Here he is with his new best friend..

March was a very busy and fun month for us. Evan and I celebrated our seventh anniversary and we set out on our first real roatrip/vacation since having Johnny. Our main destination was Sacramento where we would meet up with my family to see my little brother graduate from the California Highway Patrol Academy. We proudly watched Joe get his badge and enjoyed being with family. If you ever get pulled over while driving in East L.A and out steps a 6'9" giant of a cop, be thankful because you are about to meet a very kind and genuine man (he still might write you a ticket, though). We visited other family and friends all the along the way. On the way home, we spent a night in Monterey and attended Liturgy at a church in Salinas where our first Priest now serves. It was wonderful to see him and to visit a Greek Orthodox Church again. (He is one of the reasons we named our son John.)
Here are pictures from our little trip, I'll let them speak for themselves..








As far as everyday life goes, we feel very blessed. I had my ultra sound and a healthy baby is growing and thriving. We aren't finding out who's in there this time but I was thankful to see that beautiful heart beating and adorable profile. Johnny is changing and growing so much, too! Everyday he cracks me up and surprises me with how much he is learning. We can actually have conversations now and I love hearing his take on things. I can't believe how much life I've experienced with Evan by my side and I am full of excitement and hope for what's to come.

Well, I didn't mean to be away this long. I am not really back just yet...we are in the middle of holy week and I think I will wait until after Pascha (Easter) to post. I will be back with lots to tell and lots of photos. I miss you all!

Johnny & George

Baby got the Blues..

Johnny has finally figured out to play the harmonica he got for Christmas. He takes it pretty seriously and is totally impressed with himself. We think it's pretty great, too. (although noisy) He gets really into a times; dancing around and bobbing his head while he plays. I love how he enjoys music and instruments. When he's not playing the harmonica, he's either strumming his belly like a guitar or violently shaking his maracas. As loud as it can get, I prefer those noises a hundred times more than silly electronic toys.


Thank you for your well wishes and prayers. I count you all as friends and feel very humbled by all the kind words from both the people who know me well and those who have never even met me. Thank you, thank you!
Life is about to get very busy for us in the coming weeks. I think I will be taking a little blogging break. Maybe I will just post some photos here and there. I'll be back to tell all about it, though!

My Good News...

Here is the the little secret I've been keeping from my blog. Since miscarrying last summer I was a hesitant to get the word out right away. Honestly, I still feel wary of publicizing my pregnancy, but I won't let the past rob my joy over this child. SO, here's why I've been sick, tired, moody and utterly happy the last few months. Emphasis on tired, though. Thankfully, everything is going well and come August there will be a new little face in our family. We can't wait!

Baby Talk

Here is a conversation Johnny and I have a few times a day..
Mama: "Are you my baby?"
Johnny: " Aye a maan!
Mama: Are you my boy?
Johnny: "Aye a maaaaan!!!
Mama: "Oh! You're my little man!"
Johnny: "Uh-huh."

Here's my little man in his bubble bath. He likes having a beard like his Papa.

"Boob"

The title of this post refers to what Johnny says when he wants to nurse. As crass as it may be, we have come to think it's quite funny and cute. Believe me, I have tried to get him to say nurse or nursey, anything else really. But, no. It's boob. Anyways, in the recent edition of Mothering magazine they chose a universal symbol for breastfeeding in hopes that it will appear in public places, on the door of a mother's lounge for example. The point is to create a more breastfeeding-friendly society. I love the image they chose and hope to see it in public. I, personally, have never had a bad experience breastfeeding in public. We aren't nursing a whole lot anymore but when I did I was always comfortable nursing wherever I happened to be. I've been invited to some nurse-ins by La Leche League but have never gone. Maybe if I'd had a bad experience where I was told to leave or something I would feel like more of an activist about it. But also, I've avoided them (nurse ins, not LLL) because I just don't view nursing my son as a statement. I think that why I know a lot of women are turned off to LLL, because they seem to come on too strong and want everyone to be activists. Don't get me wrong, they are a wonderful organization and can provide much needed support, especially in the first weeks when nursing can be stressful and painful, and I love the books they have published. Come to think of it, I must have tiny bit of activist in me considering how much I love the breastfeeding symbol and think it would look great on a t-shirt or baby onesie, etc.. I guess it's just sad how it seems like we have to choose sides in terms of how we mother. We put eachother into categories. This is especially evident to me when I attend a baby shower. As I talk with women about my birth or children and they hear I am still nursing my son, or that I had a drug free birth, they act like or sometimes come right out and say, "oh you are one of those." It bothers me. Some of you have been blogging a little about this and I guess it got me thinking. I know I personally am really trying not to put other women into a box or assume too much about how they mother by something like whether they nurse or not. I suppose that is another reason I have not gotten too heavily involved in LLL or AP play groups. I just don't want everyone I hang out with to have the exact same philosophy on mothering that I do.( not that I even follow AP by the book, anyhow) One of my best friends has raised her babies very differently than I have raised Johnny, yet I think we share the a very similar heart and passion for being moms. However, my carefulness in not judging others' methods of mothering has also encouraged me to be more open about my own. I used to feel embarrassed about telling people that Johnny sleeps with us, especially if I had already heard them go on and on about their baby sleeping through the night is his own room. I figured they would think I was a real push over. Our decision to co-sleep wasn't made by default; we gave it a lot of time, entered into it with a let's-see-if-this-works attitude, and felt at peace with our decision. We followed our hearts and I think that is the best we can do when it comes to those issues of parenting. I just hate to see women feeling like they have to decide how they are going to mother their baby when they are six months pregnant. Let them enter the world, stare at their little faces, get to know them a little bit and follow what your heart (not your crazy post-pardum emotions) is telling you. I know I didn't settle into my role as mama until Johnny was at least a few months old, but I would've been even more of wreck if I were trying to follow one strict philosophy that didn't allow a whole lot of flexibility.
Man, I think I've said enough. So, I hope this doesn't leave any of you with an "oh, she's one of those" feeling, I would hate to alienate anyone who has until now enjoyed visiting my blog. If you love your babies and are doing what you know is best and works for you and them, then we've got a whole lot in common!

Evan Jr.

Once I was out alone with Johnny and I actually had this lady say to me, " Oh, he must look like his daddy." She has no idea how right she was.

New Year, New Post, Same Old Me..

Again, not feeling much like blogging these days. But I am disappointed with myself for not busting out a nice Christmas blog with news of our festivities and pictures from all the nice family get togethers. It was all very warm and every year reminds me how grateful I should be for family and the generations my son is getting to grow up amidst. And the important thing is, CHRIST IS BORN! The services were beautiful and plentiful. We haven't been to church since Christmas due to a nasty cold and I can tell Johnny misses it. He keeps saying, "I won Awl" which means he wants Father Al, our priest. Hopefully, we will all be recovered and make it to vespers this Saturday.
New Years haven't been a big thing for me since becoming a Mama. Although, I was never much of a partier before that, either. I didn't anticipate even staying up past 10 o'clock, but we actually had a very fun night. Johnny had a bad cough which kept waking him, so I finally brought the poor kid downstairs where we all watched the Garrison Keeler New Years Special on KPBS. It was done very much like the Prairie Home Companion Shows and had some beautiful music. Johnny cracked us up as he danced and strummed on his tummy like he was playing guitar at 11 o'clock at night. At midnight, we gave each other new year/good night kisses and fell asleep to the sound of illegal fireworks. The best part was sleeping in the next morning!
2007 will mark ten years since I graduated high school. Ten years since I moved on my own to California from the Philippines, where I had lived for ten years as the daughter of missionaries.Ten years since I first shook hands and was introduced to my husband. Although, it wasn't until January of the following year that we spoke again. These are the sort of things a fresh year make me think about.
And of course, I am one of those suckers who makes some resolutions. Some are stupid, others more serious.
Here are a few.. Maybe publicizing them will help me keep them.
1. Write a letter to our Grandparents at least twice a month. I am shooting for once a week. Part of why I started this blog was because I am terrible about sending letters and e-mails, so I thought I could post my news and pictures here. Unfortunately, our Grandparents don't have access to the internet all the time and I need let them know I think about them and keep them informed on our lives.
2. Cook and bake more. I want to really dive into new recipes and bake and cook food that intimidates me. My goal is to only bake my bread instead of buy it. I've been baking bread for some time and actually worked in a bakery, so that doesn't intimidate me, it just requires more out of me.
3. Sew something, anything. I have a machine on loan for a few months and I need to put that baby to work.
4. Pray more. Memorize prayers.
5. Read more.
What are yours?
Well, I am enjoying getting caught on all my blogging friends holidays and celebrations. May this be a blessed new year for all!

And now for something completely different...Who knew a one year old could look THIS bad?!

I just haven't had it in me to blog these past few weeks. I am busy, tired and just not very inspired when I sit down at this computer. There's been plenty to blog about. Thanksgiving, my parents visiting from England, my blog turning a year old, getting ready for Christmas and of course, the endless adventures of John Henry. So, I'll play catch up for a moment. Thanksgiving was great, like I mentioned my parents are in the country. They live in Oxford, England as missionaries. This was the first Thanksgiving with my whole side of the family in around 10 yrs. It was wonderful to be with all that "blood" and see my child, and my sister's children playing with their Grandparents, as the Great Grandparents watched. Johnny and I took a 9 hour road trip with my folks up to spend some time with my sister in her home in Paradise. We were gone about a week and I am so glad Johnny had all that time with my parents and his cousins. I fee like he knows them now and will know who I am talking about when I say their names or we speak with them on the phone. I returned home, happy to see Evan and be back with my family here. And I was very eager to start making my home look like Christmas since it sure didn't feel like Christmas outside. We have had such warm weather here, it was getting to be disgusting. So, I am loving the rain we've had the past couple night. Bring it on! Saturday, Johnny and I, and our favorite neighbors went to the 56th annual Escondido Christmas Parade. (something like that.) It was pretty funny, such an eclectic variety of floats. My favorites were the Shriners, (which I have pictured driving around in those crazy little cars), the marching bands( I just love marching bands) and the low riders, with hydraulics, bouncing their cars down the street. It was ridiculously great. What was really cute was how Johnny and Leif sat next to each other on the curb, clapping and waving.

Here are a couple parade pictures...

Leif and Johnny...

...have been buddies since birth (they are six weeks apart)
...enjoy screaming contests when out in public
...love to chase each other around
...also love to completely ignore eachother
...have great heads of hair
...are too cute!

Press Pause

These are some professional photos taken of Johnny a few months back. I am feeling like I want time to slow down and for him to stay this way a little while longer. He's growing up SO fast! I am happy to have these pictures which have captured him at this age so beautifully.

It's About Time...

For the first time. I guess growing up overseas (missionary kid) made me think I didn't really care. I am a voter now, promise.

Morning Walk

Living in an apartment, we don't have a yard for Johnny to get outdoors and explore. So, we take walks around the neighborhood instead. I love watching him check everything out. He's terrible about following or staying with me, infact, I think he waits to see which direction I plan to go so he can head the other way. Nonetheless, we have a lot of fun and I think it wears him out. He is sound asleep right now.

Brown Bear

Just for Fun.

I've got some time on my hands, babe is asleep and I have thirty minutes before Evan gets home. I thought this little questionaire that some other blog friends have done looked like fun. I just love music and often have it playing when I am home. My car stereo was stolen a few months back and has yet to be replaced. Despite my own singing accompanied by Johnny's yells, giggles and "gawks", driving just isn't the same.
Anyways, here it goes...
WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK TO YOUR LIFE BE?
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
* I did skip songs, but only the ones that were strictly Evan's music and songs I never actually listen to.(i.e. he is a big dinosaur jr. fan, me, not so much.)

*Opening Credits: Metal Heart- Pedro the Lion.
*Waking Up: The One Red Star- Songs:Ohia.
*First Day of School- A Hunting We Will Go- Hem. ( I actuall skipped the Jimmie Rodgers song, Pistol Packing Papa, because I didn't think it counted as MY music. This was what came on next.What's with the gun theme?)
*Falling in Love: Quito- The Mountain Goats.
*Fight Song: Smooth Death- The Danielson Family.
*Breaking Up: All the Morning Birds- Jolie Holland
*Prom: The Beast in Me- Johnny Cash.
*Life: Lucky- Hem.
*Career: Byrd Joel- Red House Painters.
*Mental Breakdown: Ghost Waltz- Jolie Holland.
*Driving: Stable Boy Song- The Mountain Goats.
*Flashback: Big Decision- Damien Jurado. (Just saw him in concert Wednesday night.I was hoping he would show up on this thing.He is one of my favorites!)
*Getting Back Together: Willful Supsension of Disbelief- Modest Mouse.
*Wedding: He Lays in the Reins-Calexico/Iron&Wine.
*Birth of a Child: Show Me- Over the Rhine.
*Midlife Crisis: To Those Who Will Burn- Damien Jurado.
*Final Battle: Carry Me Ohio- Sun Kil Moon.
*Death Scene: I Can Not Have Seen the Light- Magnolia Electric Company.(well, that wasn't planned)
*Funeral Song: Rosewood Casket- Damien Jurado. HA! I am entering these as they play and it's pretty funny how well this last one works.A rosewood casket will be just fine for me, thank you. It's a very pretty song, and if you haven't heard of him, I'd encourage you to give him a listen.
*Ending Credits: Disillusion- Badly Drawn Boy.
The End.